Through The Rain
by Dark Chyld713
Summary: Bella had never questioned how she lived her life, or being alone, always happier in the shadows; until she saw Edward walk through her door. Edward had always been happiest on his own. Can two lives change over 72 hours? AH
1. Chapter 1

It was a cold, wet, rainy day; in other words it was the typical Seattle day, and I hated it. I despise anything that make my feet slosh around until my toes are numb, or that makes my already thick and unmanageable hair any worse than it is on an everyday basis. I hate having to put on two layers of clothing just to make sure that I stay warm without wearing my large oversized coat. Running errands is hard enough for me since I am so klutzy that the government should allow me a handicapped sticker; its only made worse by the slippery surfaces that the rain makes and having to nervously clutch an umbrella in my hand praying to God that it won't slip out of my accident prone fingers and impale someone when they aren't looking. In short I absolutely hate living here.

And so the question that I hate to answer most is constantly asked of me. Why would I live somewhere that I hate? The truth is complicated in all of its seeming simplicity. I am now running my mother's bed and breakfast because after five years of happily running it herself she wanted a new adventure. Another great love to explore with a man over a decade younger than she is. So here I am to take care of her pet project; to take care of her the best I can even from afar.

She named the inn The Lovely Swan Bed and Breakfast. I hated the name from the beginning. She thought it was clever; a slight pun on Swan with it being our last name. I didn't see the humor in it. It sits outside the city halfway between Seattle and Forks; the small, rainy town I spent my teenage years in.

It occurred to my mother one day that she missed the tie to her roots that she was missing while we were living in Arizona. She hated the rain, loved all the sun, but hated having to talk to old friends over the phone. She loved the heat and the fact that she could tan during the year; but she had grown tired of hearing of high school reunions and old girlfriend get togethers rather than participating in them. It had come to be somehow that her hatred for small town life had been outweighed by her desire to go back home and try something new. It had not occurred to her however that I had hated every moment that I spent in that small town.

She had always been eccentric; what others would love to call "free spirited" but this was large even for her. She was stuck on the idea of moving back to Washington before she had even formed a plan in her head. But, that was my mother; no plans equaled greater adventures and she was always looking out for adventures.

So within six months she had found a nice place that she had determined would become a great bed and breakfast that sat on the outskirts of Forks; neatly placed between small town life and the big city lights. My mother had found her perfect compromise. She could see her old friends; have her home town ties while still having all the adventure that she wanted. The constant stream of new guests from all over the country allowed her to chat and meet new people. That was until five months ago. She had met the much younger rookie ball player Phil.

Phil had instantly caught her fancy and during his weeklong stay with us she had pledged her undying love for him. Two weeks ago she followed him off to Florida. I promised to stay here and keep the B&B running while she went and had her fun. It simply didn't seem right to me that she should continue being so unhappy without him when I was capable of giving her all she wanted.

My daily reverie of how I had gotten here is broken as I hear the phone ring. I clear my throat and pick up the phone. I expect to hear Angela, one of our few employees, calling out. Valentine's day is coming up and it's all that anyone with a significant other can think about. And since I haven't found anyone that I have been willing to date I am once more alone, and cursing this horrid holiday that Hallmark has decided to make into something other than a superficial validation of what should be already known between two people. Instead it's a high trilling voice. It seems odd to be coming from a person. Since the voice somehow reminds me of the soft sounds of a wind chime; sweet and soothing.

"I'd like to reserve three rooms for the weekend," she tells me. And in those few words I can hear the enthusiasm in her voice.

I look over the log in book quickly and bite back a groan. I'll have a full house this weekend. There goes wallowing in my "Bella's all alone pity party".

"When will you be arriving?" I ask breaking out of my head and thoughts.

"Oh, we're on the highway already so maybe in an hour, maybe two tops."

"Oh- umm- ok what's the name?"

"Cullen, we're from the area, my brother here just needs to get away from people for a while and he won't go on his own. He's a bit of a work-aholic," she says in a stage whisper as if any of this would matter to me.

Even though I've heard the inane babbling of plenty of people the affection and enthusiasm which this woman was talking to me was contagious and endearing. And I can't help the giggle that escapes me when I hear the harsh whispers in the background obviously disagreeing with what she had just said.

"Well then the Lovely Swan Bed and Breakfast will be just the thing for him. Would you like the rooms next to each other?" I asked going over a mental floor plan in my head. Most of the weekend guests wouldn't be arriving till Friday night. Since it was still early Thursday they could have the pick of the rooms.

"Oh no, put one on the first floor and two on the top floor. And don't worry, we can wait ten or fifteen minutes for the rooms to be done when we get there."

The certain tone that she had when making her last comment had taken me off guard. It wasn't what she said. I might have to have them wait a few extra minutes to make sure everything was in order. What was odd was the way that she was talking. It wasn't so much a comment as a statement of fact. Either way there was nothing more that I could say as she had already hung up the phone and the dial tone was coming through loud and clear as I slipped off into more thoughts.

All in all I didn't mind running this little place. It was quiet enough that I could have plenty of time to myself and the sightseeing kept contact with the guests to a minimum. Not that I didn't like people, I just couldn't seem to relate to them like anyone else. Their worries were not my worries. I didn't like the things that normal twenty five year old females would like. And I couldn't find a man that would be able to hold my interest for longer than a few minutes.

I always felt like the outsider in any conversation I had, and I was happier sitting off to the side watching all the action rather than partaking in it. I guess I had gotten all of my highly non-existent social butterfly ways from my father, who seemed to be the only one that understood the value of silence and the beauty of being left alone to decompress at night.

The few people I worked with were all nice and good to work with. I was able to get along with them all very well. It was a surprise to me that things had been running so smoothly for me after having my mother run it for years. She had done all the hiring's and yet I was perfectly happy with the way that everything was. If only the weather were just a bit nicer it could very much be a near perfect existence.

I busied myself getting the rooms ready, making sure the sheets were clean and that I had everything all set up for check in. Even still, with only me working that night it was too much to do and before I was ready I heard the front door open. I groaned into the empty room and straightened out my blouse. I knew there was no hope for my hair that had gone curly and frizzy from the days incessant rain so I simply pushed it out of my face and made my way quickly into the foyer.

What stood before me were the most beautiful people that I had ever seen. None of them truly looked alike and yet the resemblance between them was striking. There was no way to deny that they had to somehow be related to one another. They were simply too beautiful to not be.

Standing in the very front was a small woman who could be no more than five feet tall. Her hair seemed perfectly styled in very short spikes that almost framed her devastatingly beautiful face like a halo of black hair. Her big brown eyes stood out beautifully and to me she seemed as if she could be a woodland fairy. Standing beside her was a man that had to easily tower over her by over a foot. He seemed quiet and controlled which was a contrast to how she seemed to nearly vibrate in her spot from the effort it seemed to take to stand still. His blonde hair fell about him in curls and although it gave him a boyish quality there was no denying he was a handsome man.

Next to them were the biggest man I had yet to see and the most gorgeous woman that I had ever laid eyes on. I had always known that there wasn't much to look at when it came to myself; but somehow this woman made me feel as if I needed to go and join a circus side show. So beautiful was every feature on her delicately arranged face and body that I could not fathom how any man could walk by her without falling on his knees and declaring himself in love. It was how Romeo had fallen for Juliet; and I was certain that was how it was for her and the man that she was with. There was nothing else to do but fall instantly in love with all of her sophisticated beauty. The man seemed to be two men combined into one overly large one. Even through his thick sweater I could see that every inch of him was carved out of thick muscle. His black hair curled and fell into his eyes and around his face in a careless way which suited the large grin that he wore on his face. And his blue eyes stood out like a clear ocean against the sandy shores of his tanned skin. They were both beautiful and belonged together.

The closer that I got to the group the easier it was to spot the quiet man who stood to the back of the group. I could not decide whether he was respecting the two couples privacy or if he was trying not to be seen. It did not really matter though. He seemed quiet and pained almost. He didn't seem the type that would willingly make a stay at a place like this so he must have been the work-aholic.

I can't really say how long I've been staring at the group of them; studying them, trying to categorize and figure them out before they even speak. As if on cue the quiet one turns and locks his eyes on me. His bored expression going from surprise to something that looks like anger back to the bored blank look.

I have seen more than enough of his face though. And the closer I get to him the more apparent it is that he's handsome, devastatingly beautiful and very self possessed. In short he's breathtaking and heartbreaking all at once. And I can't seem to decide between running the other way or do my best to seem professional while I am internally drooling over him.

Quickly, I factor in my inability to run without tripping and decide on the latter option.

I clear my throat to get myself together. Somehow the room has gotten smaller and I feel as if someone has turned a very bright spotlight on me.

"Hello, welcome to The Lovely Swan Bed and Breakfast. I'm Bella and you must be the Cullens'." My voice sounds small and weak to my own ears and I hope that they don't notice it.

"Yes we are. I'm Alice, this is Jasper. The big goof over there is Emmet and with him is Rosalie. And the intense brooding one trying to hide in the corner is Edward."

I smile at the tiny woman in front of me. She's the smallest of all of them yet she seems to command them and I like her instantly. Alice will be one of the few guests that I have that I am happy to see stay and sorry to see leave.

"If you'll just sign in right up here at the front desk. You can drop your luggage right here, I still need a few minutes to finish up everything. I'm very sorry but I'm on my own tonight and it takes a while to get everything all set up..." I trail off not knowing why I'm rambling. My thoughts always tend to come out to quickly and I have yet to figure out how to fix it.

"I already told you we won't mind the small wait."

"Speak for yourself." The voice is quiet and deep. It sounds like muted velvet and spoken silk. It's thick like honey and as soft as satin. The simple sound sends my head spinning and craving for more of him. If he would only sit with me and talk to me forever. I'm sure that would be my perfect version of heaven.

I turn to the voice not surprised that it came from the beautiful man off to the side. His voice now matches the devastating looks. I look down at the floor quickly to check I haven't turned into a puddle and shuffle my foot a bit. He doesn't sound upset with me only with the idea of being here at all.

"Please forgive my brother he isn't usually so brash," Alice's tone is light although her words speak volumes to him somehow.

My bottom lip slips out from beneath my teeth; a nervous habit I never realize I do and wave off her worries.

"No apologies necessary. This kind of thing isn't exactly everyone's cup of tea," I chance a quick glance at him and realize how foolish the idea was.

His eyes are a jade green filled with a ferocity that seems fake since I can see the gentleness that they hold. His small smile tells me that I was right about my assessment of him and it brings a large smile to my face.

"My sister is right though. It was terribly rude of me to make such a comment. Whether it was true or not, it should not haven been said. It was not meant to offend you or this place. She just has rather strong- opinions, and she tends to believe it would be best if we all abided by them."

"That's because you would be- and you have been- so stop making such a fuss."

I let out a laugh at the sibling banter and stepped back to the front desk.

"Here's the book, check out is any time before midnight on Sunday and I'll have your rooms ready in about fifteen minutes."

I place a pen on the book and back away from the group. They will think that I left to finish the last checks on their rooms, and I did have to do that. The truth was though that I simply could not handle looking at Edward Cullen anymore, or the idea of being in close proximity to him. Something about him was making me weak in the knees and I couldn't quite understand why.

As I straighten out the sheets on the beds and do final sweeps of the rooms to make sure that everything is clean and organized I try to put my emotions into words.

The best that I can come up with is that I'm hormonal. I can't remember the last time I had a man hold me or experienced a real kiss. Not that I don't have the same desires and physical cravings as any other woman but finding a man that has been able to awaken those within me have been extremely rare. The almost inhumanly beautiful man in the front room had stirred me up; something I was not used to at all. Had the other two men been single I most certainly would have noticed them just as much as I had Edward. I repeated that over and over in my head, ignoring the part of my mind that was telling me that Edward was the only one I truly noticed and he would always be the only one I noticed.

Edward- the name fit him almost to a tee. It had an older, elegant sophistication that it carried with it and he carried it quite well. He seemed like a man that had just stepped out of a Jane Austen novel; aloof, sweet, tall, handsome, and with a set of morals and beliefs that would be unwaivering.

I stepped back into the front room quietly hoping to not disturb whatever family moment they might have been having at that point.

Both couples are standing and talking to each other. They laugh and shake their heads at different times putting on expressions to whatever is appropriate for the turn the conversation has taken. The simple scene tugged at a piece of my heart I hadn't realized I had. I had always been happy on my own, taking care of my mother. Seeing before me the very idea of siblings and being that close to people made me feel a type of loneliness I did not know I felt.

My eyes scan the room automatically not knowing what they are searching for until they land on a head of perfectly styled messy hair. His back is turned towards his family and he is studying a painting on the wall. He gives a few short answers whenever adressed but his focus never fully leaves the painting. Not until I begin to walk towards them and trip over the perfectly flat wood floor.

I stand up as quickly as I can and brush myself off more for something to focus on rather than being dirty. I know my face is red from my blushing and hearing the laughter is not helping.

"Are you ok? That was a pretty good spill, I'd give it an eight."

I look up into the face of the one introduced as Emmet and see his large smile and an arm outstretched towards me as if to keep me from falling again.

"Uh- yes I'm fine thank you. Keep watching me and I am sure that I can give you a solid ten before you leave here."

Making fun of myself was the one way I had learned to deflect the attention that my constant tripping had drawn to me.

"If the four of you will follow me I'll show you to your rooms upstairs," I turned to Edward who had stayed where he was although he had gone from looking at the painting to looking at me. "Your room is set up down here so if you'd like to wait down here and I'll be right down to show you to yours."

I took his small smile and nod of his head as a yes and turned toward the stairs.

"Your rooms aren't right next to each other. They are on either sides of the bathroom which is right here. There's a lock and a little privacy sign that you can put on the door so no one will bother you. Although it doesn't seem to be a problem for anyone. Most people spend their days shopping or hiking. Its a pretty private place. A breakfast buffet is served at 8am, we have everything from waffles to muffins. Dinner we serve at 6 and you're on your own for lunch. I'm always around so if there's anything you need help with just let me know."

"What if I want a shopping buddy?"

I turned to the small voice that could belong to no one else other than Alice.

"I'm sorry, what did you ask?"

"Rose here promised to have quality time with Emmet. Some nonsense about girl time getting in the way too much, Jasper has refused to go shopping with me for at least a month-"

"Alice the last time I went with you I had a shoe thrown at me."

"I was trying to work and all you did was make jokes and try to eat!"

"Sweetheart I hadn't eaten that day at all. And-" he said loudly cutting off anymore of her arguments. "It landed us in counseling. I have a scar from that incident and I'd rather not have to see a shrink once more. I would do anything else for you, but not that."

I stood amazed at how a few words and a simple touch from him could calm her down so completely. She turned to me calm but not completely satisfied.

"So you see I need someone to go out with me at least once this weekend. We are going to be great friends, just come out with me once and you'll see."

I smiled at her genuine enthusiasm. She didn't seem to mind what other people thought or wanted. She had exactly what they needed, or so she seemed to believe fervently.

"I'm sorry, even if I could get away I don't like shopping that much. I try to do it as little as possible. But I really can't get away this weekend. I have to stay close to the inn. Everyone started asking for time off because of Valentines day so I'm on my own."

"What about you? Don't you have someone to spend it with?"

"No, I'm a free agent. Not that I have time or energy in shopping around for guys. Most of them bore me." I look around the room and see four amused faces. Emmet and Rosalie have started unpacking even though they are listening to me and Alice and Jasper are staring at me caught between amusement and curiosity.

"And I have no idea why I just told you all of that. Ok well here are your room keys, I'm downstairs if you need anything, and I'm going to show your brother to his room now."

I walk out completely embarassed and ashamed of myself. I was supposed to be likeably professional not spilling out my inner most thoughts to guests. Even my mother was not that open.

Still berating myself I walked back into the front room and right into the one man that I could not shake from my mind.

"Are you alright?" His voice was so filled with concern and his eyes so deep and intense that I stood speechless for a moment.

"I'm fine, it happens all the time. I'm sorry, are you ok? I didn't hurt you did I?"

"Not at all," he said with a chuckle as if my frame would never be able to hurt him.

"Are you sure? I've created some major damage with my clumsiness," I say to him in a joking manner. Even though my concern if very real. I've gotten into some very bad scrapes because of my inability to stand upright.

The only thing that could make me anymore embarrassed then I have been since this family walked through the door would be to injure the one man that I have felt any spark towards for—well ever.

"I'm positive. No harm, no foul," he said smiling.

It had to be the first genuine smile that I've seen him make since he walked through the door. It lifted into a perfect crooked grin. One that said he was completely unaware of just how beautiful he was, and that he was slightly unsure of being here, alone with me. And somehow that knowledge was more comforting than anything else.

I honestly could not come up with reasoning for his uncertainty as I quickly ran through possible reasons in my head. Men became nervous around beautiful women, women that made their knees go weak and their mouths go dry. I had never been one of those women. Men always laughed and joke with me. Never once has one been so pulled to me that the only thing they could think of doing was to pull away.

"Well, like Alice asked me to do, I put your room down here. It's right down this hallway. Here's the bathroom, you'll pretty much have it all to yourself since most of the rooms are upstairs. You'll be sharing it with me, and maybe one other guest. I hope you don't mind." I knew I was babbling and yet I couldn't stop myself. I wanted to say something witty and clever. I wanted to desperately get him out of shell and open up to me. Have him speak to me about anything and everything. I wanted to know that I could make him laugh and get him to enjoy himself while he was around me. My mind, as it warred with itself over what to say could think of nothing like that. So I settle for giving him the two cent tour down the hallway.

I know that in my mind it isn't logical to love someone after quietly staring at them for twenty minutes. And I knew I wasn't really truly in love with the man following quietly behind me. What I did know was that I was already in love with the sound of his voice.

I knew that he could read anything to me, say anything to me, and I would swoon. He could tell me how hideously ugly, or plain I was, and I would smile with a dazed look in my eyes and readily agree.

"Here's your room. The rest of your family is upstairs on either side of the bathroom; the second and fourth door on your right as soon as you head up the stairs. I am two doors down if you need anything don't feel afraid to come and find me," I try to flash my friendliest smile to him so that he'll know I mean it.

I know that it is something that all hotels have their workers say to guests. It is a way to make the guests feel welcomed and like they are being taken care of like Hollywood starlets. In most instances I say it knowing that a guest will only come around when it is a major emergency. I say it this time fully hoping that he will indeed take me up on my offer whenever he feels like it.

I hear a whispered thank you after I finish my small speech and I stand there unconsciously, not knowing what I am waiting for, or if I am actually waiting for anything at all. Perhaps I am waiting for him to make an offer like his sister Alice did, or for him to ask me anything at all about myself like so many others do. But somehow I know that he won't. I know that he values the quiet moments, and the privacy that he can get when he's away from his siblings. He wants to be alone, at least that is how he looks; staring intently at his shoes not knowing exactly how to approach any other conversation with me.

"Well I'm sure that you're tired from your drive out here, I'll just leave you to unpack," I say awkwardly heading back out of his room.

I can see his mouth move up and down as if he's trying to make words come out and then an angry scowl. I can't tell why his change of mood had come about, but he seems lost in thought. So without another word I close his door and head back to the front. I still have about another hour before I turn in for bed. All the rules that my mother set up I still abide by. The front desk closes at ten at night; the kitchen closes at eight, no more dessert or finding any snacks. And I have always given myself off at least one day during the weekend. Except for this weekend, God I hate Valentine's Day. All the happy people with their boyfriends or girlfriends, holding hands and being absolutely smitten with each other. Even seeing older couples walk around as if they were just as in love with each other as the day that they met. It all turns my stomach and makes it erupt with nervous butterflies.

The holiday itself is superficial but I still want someone to love. I hadn't ever really given it too much thought. I always get a little blue around now, seeing others in love and not seeing it myself. But I had never got as depressed as I am right now. The thought of being alone my entire life had never entered my head. Somehow that's all that I can seem to think about right now.

Will I be forty by the time I marry? Will I have kids? Will I ever find someone who can make my heart stop and my knees weak? And as soon as I can see the questions in my mind, the answers play out just as quickly. I can see myself married soon enough to the man that is now two doors down probably sleeping. Our children would have his soul filled piercing green eyes, and the shocking bronze colored hair. They would inherit everything wonderful from their father and I would be even more in love with him than when we married. Every time that he turned and smiled I would become breathless and faint. He would quickly become my everything and I would welcome it with open arms.

I do not know how long I got wrapped up in my own thoughts and day dreams but I do know that is has not allowed me to sleep. Turning to the clock on my night stand I see that it is now one a.m. and I have been lying in bed for three hours with no luck of falling asleep. I sigh and throw the covers off my body. I am frustrated with myself for letting my mind get so wrapped up into thoughts that I know will never come to pass and also I can't fully tell where they came from. I had never been a big believer in marriage, seeing my parents divorced and struggling to meet all the bills and move on with their lives. Something that to this day still evades my father no matter how he tries to accomplish it. I've never thought myself the marriage type so to fantasize about it something that is beyond description to me.

In an attempt to calm myself enough to sleep I go to take a shower. I love these moments, the quiet of the night where I can feel like I am alone in my own house. I can see myself anywhere other than here and believe that I have dreams and aspirations for myself other than keeping my mother safe and happy.

Letting the hot water relax the knots in my back I sigh and keep my mind blank. Letting it wander back to the place where I see a future with Edward Cullen is useless and heartbreaking. I need to keep myself calm, not begin to think over the things I never knew I always wanted.

As I step out of the shower and dry myself off I listen to how quiet the house is. There is no movement from upstairs and I can't hear anything from Edward next door. I find that I like thinking his name even if I haven't found the courage to say it aloud.

Without over analyzing every thought in my mind I dry myself off and wrap my robe around me. I finally have enough self-control to stop the errant thoughts that have going through my head at warp speed all night.

After convincing my mind and body to finally relax all I want is to climb into my bed and sleep for the next six hours or so. Flinging open the bathroom door my eyes haven't adjusted to the darkness out in the hallway, but it doesn't bother me. I've wandered these halls enough to know where I am and where I'm going in the light or dark. Three steps into the hallway and I crash into a large hard object. My body recognizes him before my mind does as I instinctively wrap my hands around his biceps to keep myself from stumbling to the ground. And even though I ran into him because of the dark I am grateful that he cannot see me blush from embarrassment once again.

"I-I am so sorry. I didn't know you were there I thought everyone would be asleep I-"

"Its fine really. I didn't realize anyone would be up either. I had fallen asleep for a bit and woke up with a need for a snack. I was going to try and make a run for a quick burger or something. Although we do need to stop running into eachother, literally." He stopped speaking and looked down between us pointedly.

I stared for a quick moment before realizing that I was still wrapped around him. I cleared my throat in way of an apology. My throat had apparently swelled shut while I was staring into his eyes and memorizing just how wonderful he felt under my hands.

"Do you know of any places that are close by? Every store I know of is a bit of a drive that I am not really in the mood, or condition to make." He raised his eyebrows and stared at me.

I know he is waiting for an answer, he is tired and hungry and still clutching onto me. I mentally berate myself for making myself seem like a blundering idiot.

Great, the most gorgeous man you have ever seen and you can't string together two words.

"Bella?"

The sound of my name and the tone of Edwards voice break me out of my daze.

"There isn't anywhere decent around without a bit of a drive. But I'm a little hungry myself, would you like to have a little snack with me?"

"Isn't the kitchen long since closed?" He teases me. The light tone of his voice is light and airy and feels like a fresh cool breeze against my stale existence.

"It is only closed if you aren't in with the owner. Since I've bulldozed into you twice I think it only fair that you get something in return." My body is screaming for sleep but I can't help but to find a way to spend time with this man. I'll be exhausted tomorrow but I know that Mike and Angela are covering breakfast and I can at least sleep in a little bit. Even if I couldn't, I would still take this time. The man is irresistable to me, there is no denying it.

"Well how could I possibly turn down an offer like that?"

I smile and finally straighten myself up and out of his arms immediately missing the contact. "I'll just put my stuff in my room and we'll get something to eat." I smile and head towards my bedroom. "Meet you in the kitchen."


	2. Chapter 2

I sit in the kitchen at the small dining table that is set in there and let my mind wander. Today had started out as hell, but was quickly going to end as heavenly as I wait for Bella to make her appearance.

I had been in the car with Alice all afternoon taking her to run, what she claimed to be, necessary errands. She had an amazing Valentine's Day weekend planned for her and her husband; while all I wanted to do was to sit at my piano and play around with the new song that I had been composing in my head. I had no need to celebrate the holiday, I was alone. Somehow what that meant to my tenacious little sister was to drag me along with her.

I had spent all day pondering her reasoning. She did not want me to be left to my own devices on a day that might bring up so many negative emotions. She felt it was better that I stay with the family and take a weekend to enjoy life rather than live it in a massive blur that whipped right by me. On the surface it seemed sound enough. I was not thrilled about being alone on such a romantic night, but I knew that I would get over it quickly. And even though I was alone this year I was not lonely. Alice herself had seen to my full schedule of family events, and more blind dates than I could handle in a year being thrown at me in a month. I had a full life, which she knew quite well; seeing as how she was determined to shape it the way that she wanted it to be.

Being somewhere secluded with my brothers and sisters would be bad enough on a normal day, but this weekend, when they would stare at each other with such love and adoration, would be torture. Dragging me along to be a fifth wheel would not make me feel any happier than being alone in my house would. Yet here I was, after taking all day to drive Alice around, driving to a small bed and breakfast to spend the weekend with the people that I wanted to be away from most.

That was until I saw the loveliest creature walk into the front room. With long mahogany curls cascading around her shoulders and deep brown eyes that seemed to read my soul, her presence hit me like a battering ram. Something inside of me roared and raged to have her in the most animalistic of ways. Whether it was primal, or feral, or something deeper I did not know. But she sung to me, pulled me to her in an unseen way with her large eyes and full lips. Her alabaster skin and the delicate smile that screamed innocence as well as vixen; it all called to me in the strongest of ways. Somehow in a moment she had become the center of my universe.

She seemed uncomfortable having all of us stand there and stare at her, waiting for what she was going to say. Yet still she squared her shoulders and did what she had to do; professionally she seemed extremely at ease, but there was something lying under the surface when she looked at me.

She seemed frightened, maybe even slightly intimidated. Whatever she had begun thinking was leading her into a wishful state of mind. I saw in her eyes that her mind was beginning to take her somewhere else. A feeling that I understood all too well myself. Who on this Earth could understand my moods, my need to express more than my piano? I had yet to find a soul that could understand and share my passion for creation. There were so many other things that I could have been and I had chosen to be a composer. Not because I was too lazy or too afraid to do anything else; it was because composing had called to me. It had stayed with me all through college. It was my life line whenever my life seemed despairing and desolate. It was everything that I could never be. It was wanted where I was forgotten. And I knew all the signs when someone else had gone into another world where things were brighter and better; that was where Bella Swan seemed to be headed.

As she excused herself from the room I heard Alice begin to chat about how lovely she thought Bella was. "Lovely" I felt was not the right word for her, exquisite, magnificent, angelic, perhaps; but lovely did not do her justice. I looked around the front room not truly taking anything in. I could tell it was done in an old fashioned way giving off the quaint homey feel. And I could have appreciated how much effort was put into it if I had actually seen any of it. Instead all that I saw were chocolate brown eyes that melted away all of the guarded tendencies I had. How her full lips curled up into a glorious smile. And how she had so shyly, and sweetly embraced Alice, and all of her quirky behavior.

I walked around the room tuning my siblings out completely as I heard them move onto the plans that they had for their romantic weekend. I knew that they were all madly in love; I could not understand why Alice insisted that I be part of everything so that I could constantly see it with my own eyes. It was almost as if my sister did not fully believe that I knew I was without someone. I was acutely aware every night of my life that I was alone. I simply found no reason to see that as such a terrible thing. Love was something that changed you, deeply and profoundly. It was an awesome force that I had seen work many times. Even still I was fine with my life; I did not need convincing that I needed love.

"Edward we should invite Bella out to a few places with us," I heard Alice call.

"She has probably been to everything that they offer around here," I said back my eyes landing on a small painting that hung on a wall. It was well done; not spectacular but the artist showed tremendous potential to be truly amazing.

"Even still, she seems sweet and I would like to have her come out with us."

"She has to work Alice," I said lazily not paying attention to her rebuts. My eyes fell on the signature in the right hand corned. _B.S. 6/05_

My mind began working quickly. Was it Bella who had painted this? Was she creative and artistic as well as beautiful? Had she done this and then hung it up never to paint again? It was the only picture in the room. Were there others? Was it something that she loved to do? I called answers out distractedly whenever I was addressed as my mind kept thinking up questions.

I had never held a conversation with her, but I found that I wanted to. I wanted to know about her as much as I could over the course of the weekend.

She rambled constantly as she showed me to my room. I stayed silent unsure if her rambling was what she needed to tell everyone when they checked in, or if she was nervous and trying to fill the silence. It both amused and scared me. I was always so at ease with company. Meeting people was just part of my job. You compose a piece, people meet you who want to use it, or they meet you to sing your praises. I had never been at a loss for words. Yet here I was standing behind this gorgeous creature unsure of what to say to her. She lets me know that she is going to leave me to my thoughts and I have never been more grateful. So many people cannot understand how comforting it can be to just be somewhere quiet. A place where you do not need to explain yourself, where your thoughts can fall into place and you can have the time necessary to sort through all that you need to.

In the awkward silence I try to find something to say. Something that will make her understand, that I want her to be around me, but that I just need a bit of time to take in the day and the extreme reaction that I've had to her. She is pulling me towards her with such a strong force that I am repulsed by myself. How can I possibly want to know this woman so badly? It isn't until I hear the door close that I realize that she had possibly taken the scowl on my face the wrong way.

I kept myself busy with thoughts of self-loathing and how I had treated this woman wrongly in the few minutes that we have been together. I have no experience with the opposite sex. Every relationship I had, had been a failure. They had always told me I was too cold, too cut off for their tastes. After hearing the same excuse I began to believe them. Did I hold no passion for anything other than music? I loved my family, it was filled with amazing people, but how did I show it? Had I even bothered to go through the steps to tell them? I teased Rosalie mercilessly; it was our sign of affection for each other. I wrestled with Emmet; he was stronger, I was faster. I listened to civil war stories and empathized with Jaspers deeply rooted love of the confederate. I spent days driving Alice around and letting her dress me. Those were ways that I loved them, but did I tell them?

The answer was obvious and hurtful. I was cold and aloof, from everyone. But I could not help it. That was simply who I had always been. They had partners, I was alone. I did not need to be as they were, I was my own man. Still someone as warm and caring as Bella deserved to have someone who was more open and affectionate than me. No, I would not get to know her as I desired. I would stay away as best I could.

It was that final thought that lulled me to sleep, until the persistent beeping of my cell phone pulled me from my much needed sleep. As usual it was Alice, telling me to get something to eat since I had passed on the quick dinner they had earlier. She was always my care taker. The one that looked after me, when those around me had grown tired of my moody ways. I couldn't help but smile as I read the message. I had been snappish with her all day and still she loves me.

As I wake up fully I realize that I am quite hungry. It had been a while since I had last eaten, too anxious over what the following days would be like trapped near the two pairs of love birds.

I exit my room quickly and quietly trying not to wake Bella who should be sound asleep right at the end of the hall. That very thought alone makes me want to walk down the hallway and find a plausible reason to open the door and study her sleeping form. My many nights of insomnia leave me bored and in need of entertainment, and I know I would be able to watch her forever without a moment's boredom.

Before I realize it, I have a soft body in my arms and my body is responding in ways it never has before. We have a short conversation and I tease her before I release her. Something my body is not happy about doing. I miss her warmth the moment that I let go of her. And even though I had promised myself I would stay away the thought of her company is too desirous to be denied. So here I sit waiting for her, waiting to know more about this small creature who has somehow taken over my world in a few short hours.

"You seem lost in thought; it's too late to be so serious."

I look up from the spot I've been concentrating on and smile. Her voice is soft and warm like honey. "You are absolutely right. Please lighten my mood."

"Well, how about we start with a little midnight snack?"

I nod and watch her as she moves around the kitchen. In baggy sweatpants and a simple tank top she looks comfortable and stunning. And even though she hasn't said a word but to mumble about whatever she is doing, I can feel that something about her is different. She is not trying to be professional and friendly. The fine line that she walks during the day has been crossed. She is no longer trying to be a good hostess; she is simply being Bella and nothing else.

"I hope that you like grilled cheese and spam," she finally says turning to me with two plates in her hand. "It is one of my favorite midnight snacks."

"I have never really had spam before," I admit laughingly. "My mother was an in-closet gourmet chef, things like spam never really came up."

"Well, my mother was very inventive in the kitchen. Half the time things weren't even edible so I took over the cooking duties. But I'm strictly steak and potatoes, comfort food type of girl. I never really put much thought into doing more."

"Do you think you'd be able to? That it would be something that you would like to do?" I ask her.

I watch as her face scrunches in concentration a bit. "It would be something I would like to do, a few cooking classes. But I want cooking to still be something that I find fun and soothing like it is now. I never want to turn it into a chore."

"What is your mother like?" I ask. I watch as her face lifts in surprise at the personal question and I realize that I must have gone too far. "I'm sorry, that was too personal. It is wrong of me to pry. Please, you don't have to answer."

"No, no," she assures me quickly. "It's just that I'm not used to people asking me questions like that. Most of the time they just ask where the nearest hiking trail is."

I nod, and take a bite of my sandwich and lift my brows in surprise. The sandwich is better than I thought it ever could be. Not that it would be on my normal diet but to have as a late night snack. Yes, I could certainly see why Bella would make these for herself. "This is very tasty," I tell her with a smile. "I can see myself having one of these again."

"I'll have to show you how to make them then," she says with a smile and looks down at her plate after meeting my eyes for a moment.

"So," I begin, more to break the silence than anything else. "Tell me about your mother."

"Well, um, she's loving and warm, and a lot prettier than I am. I have her hair and eyes but I still have too much Charlie, my father, in me. She is brave, and adventurous and outgoing. She's made me do tons of things I would have never done on my own. She's flighty and scatterbrained, and I love her. She's my absolute best friend."

I smile at her description and her tone almost seems like she's talking about a younger sister rather than a parent. But the love in her eyes is undeniable and makes her all that more beautiful to me.

"So what has she made you do?" I ask her. I cannot say why I am asking so many questions but I cannot stop myself. Every minute detail of her I want to know. I want to make sure that no stone gets left unturned by the time I am done.

"We've done self-defense, yoga, rock climbing, painting; some lasted a week others longer, but I was always her partner. Even when things turned out badly." Her words seem almost ominous but her tone is light and joking.

"Why would those things end badly?"

"She's put me in ballet, tried to get me into sports, and it was always disasterous. I would end up in the emergency room more times than I can remember."

"How did you end up there?"

"Well for ballet it was a sprained ankle and a broken wrist. For any sport I played I ended up on crutches one way or another. Rock climbing I got a gash on my elbow and bruised my ribs while falling off the wall. But I think yoga was the best though. During what was supposed to be tree pose I fell out of it and then wound up creating a domino effect of knocking down everyone around me."

I let out a roar of laughter at the image of Bella standing alone surveying the damage before her, blushing no doubt as she seems to do so often.

"What did you do then?" I ask through my fit of laughter.

"The only thing I could do. I grabbed my mother and ran. I just can't seem to stay on my feet. I'm telling you, one day I'm going to apply for a handicapped parking sticker so I can stop tripping in parking lots."

She joins in my laughter but shakes her head. "You think its funny but I am an accident magnet. I really am practically handicapped."

"Why would your mother have you do those things if she knew your disadvantage?"

"Disadvantage? Thank you for being polite. Sometimes it was to break me out of my shell. Other times it was to try and help my coordination issues. With times like the painting classes she just saw something beautiful and she wanted to try to replicate it. I was better at painting than she was though."

"Did you do the painting in the entry room?" I ask quietly. I can hear the quiver in my voice and try to keep it low so that she won't notice.

The intimacy of the moment begins to settle onto me and I can feel my nerves tingling; begging my muscles to start twitching. Sitting next to me is a woman who I feel a magnetic pull to. She is open and honest and does not mind my questioning her. Even at late night she is stunning and sweet all at the same time. It has been too long since I had been on a date, or felt the presence of a woman this keenly.

"Yes, that was my first successful painting. Every other one I just gave up on but that one I saw through to the end. My mother was so proud that she hung it up right away. It moved with us here and she put it up for everyone to see. No matter how badly I begged her not to."

Her last few words are hard for me to hear almost as if they were meant only for her to hear. The words intrigue me and once more my mouth speaks before my brain truly processes how intrusive I am becoming.

"Why wouldn't you want it hung up? There is great potential in your paintings. Why not pursue it further?"

"Oh, really I'm not very talented and it isn't something I feel very--" she stops speaking as if searching for the right words to describe her thoughts. And although the silence lasts only a few seconds I feel as if it spans on forever. "I guess passionate would be the best word for it. One needs to have a very strong-- devotion to what they are doing to create. I'm not really one to fall into depressive moods just because I can't find the right word, or color, or note."

I stay quiet and drop my eyes to the table. She understands the love needed for your work to be an artist. Who, though would understand the bits of soul poured into your work making it feel as if you were being ripped to pieces and slipping slowly to your death?

"I won't do anything half-way. I guess that's why I haven't done much of anything yet. You know plenty about me now, what about you?"

I shrug and offer no answer as I take another bite of my sandwich. "There isn't very much interesting about me."

"Leave that to me to decide," she says with a smirk on her lips. "What do you do for a living?"

"I am a composer. Mostly orchestra pieces for plays, classical concerts. That sort of thing."

"Then I apologize for not knowing more about that."

I give a chuckle and shake my head. "Please, don't apologize for that. It is a rather dull business. Most of my life is spent in front of a piano pounding on notes to make everything feel right."

"So why don't do you do songs? Why just orchestra pieces?"

"I am not very good with words. They seem to sit in the back of throat knotted up and torn between what should come first. The notes, they just allow me to weave a silent story. I'm better at that, at being silent, than anything else."

"I don't know, you did very well right now. I can understand why you would do that for a living."

"That's what they all think," I mutter to myself. I see Bella turn her eyes in my direction and gave me a questioning stare.

"I'm sorry? I don't really understand-"

"It is best if you didn't. Thank you for the snack. It was unexpectedly enjoyable. And your company was most enjoyable."

Her look is more shocked now than anything else. I know she's asking herself what exactly had happened. What she had done to warrant my sudden change of mood.

"Did I say something to offend you?"

I can hear the disappointment and possibly the hurt laced in her tone. I sigh and give her a long look. She is confused and reeling from my sudden turn from curious and friendly to distant and brooding. Without meaning to, I've hurt this gentle creature beside me.

"No, not at all. You have been nothing but lovely." I try to give her a smile but only manage a crooked grin. I want to lessen the hurt but I know that I can't. "You look very tired," I tell her noticing the dark circles that have formed beneath her eyes. "I shouldn't have kept you up. How very rude of me. Please go back to bed, I can take care of cleaning up."

"No, really I couldn't. You're-"

"I was the one that kept you awake when you so obviously needed sleep. Go to sleep you have work in the morning."

She stands up slightly confused and still unsure what has happened. How can I explain to her that my life is not made for company? That no matter how strongly I feel towards her I cannot allow myself to let her in. I will not cause her hurt that way.

"Goodnight Bella," I say quietly as a gentle dismissal.

"Uh-yeah Good night Edward."

I lean against the sink hiding my face from her. It isn't often that I let my emotions show on my face. Yet here I stand, after one evening with Bella and feeling as if I'm crumbling. With a sensitive heart I could never do to her what I had done to others. She needed somehow who could give her love and devotion, be with her every moment. I could do none of those. No she would be best left alone. Better off without me.

Better off without me. The phrase ran through my head repeatedly until it had become my mantra. Yes, she is beautiful, creative, smart, and understanding of my love for music. No I will not disturb her life. She will be better off without me. Yes, I want her like I have never wanted another. No, I will not pursue. She will be better off without me.

I can feel the sun begin to heat up my room and try its best to filter through my eyelids. Its very early morning and I haven't slept at all. Bella's face keeps coming back to me, laughing, smiling, hurt and disappointed. Every miniscule movement of her face is etched into my memory and will not stop flashing through my mind. It allows me no sleep. Knowing that I've caused even the tiniest fraction of discomfort to this adorable creature.

My phone buzzes on the nightstand beside me angrily, breaking through the enjoyable silence of the early morning.

There is only one person who would call me this early. She does it every morning until I answer, telling her whether I'll be joining them for breakfast.

"Alice, no," I say gruffly before slamming my phone back down. It is the response I give most mornings. My lack of sleep most nights leaves me only a few hours in the morning before I absolutely need sleep.

Bella and her sweet smile float in front of my eyes before I fall into a heavy dreamless sleep.

Somehow though I cannot recall my dreams there is a dull banging somewhere in the background.

"Edward," the high pitched voice can only be Alice. Has it been two hours since her phone call already? Is it time already for her to throw open the curtains and declare that I must "start living life and stop letting it pass by"?

"Edward I've given you three hours. You need to have breakfast."

"No Alice. I'm not hungry and I just fell asleep."

"Come on Edward, don't do this to me. We are on a mini-vacation you can't fall into one of your fits."

As irritated as her words make me I can hear the pleading. Her worry that I've gone too far into my head. My sister only tries to lead my life because she is always afraid I'll forget to live at all.

"It isn't a fit Alice," I say loudly, knowing that I am nearly growling. "I am perfectly fine just simply exhausted. No means no."

"I'll come back in a little while then."

I sigh not allowing myself to analyze my sisters worries. My mind is far too tired to work through every emotion the gentle begging evokes within me. Instead I close my eyes as my body pulls me into sleep once more.

It remains dark and silent until I feel small hands pushing lightly against my back. Its an almost hesitant touch as if the hands are unsure of what they are doing. And the gentle voice calling me is soft with the same tone of hesitation.

"Edward- uh- Mr. Cullen I'm sorry to do this, really I am. Your sister, Alice, she's worried about you."

My eyes feel heavy as they open slowly. However long I've been left to sleep does not feel like enough.

"I really am sorry. I dare you to ignore your sister though. She sounded very upset when you weren't down by ten."

"What time is it now?" I ask barely recognizing my voice which is thick and heavy with sleep.

"Eleven thirty. Your family has been waiting for you for some time."

I see Bella's hands wring nervously together as she stares down at the floor.

"Thank you, I know Alice is a force of nature unable to be stopped. If you would please tell them I will be with them shortly?"

She gives a quick nod and smiles faintly before starting to leave the room.

"I'll tell them for you. If there's anything else that you need just let me know Mr. Cullen."

I sit up surprised by the formal tone used by Bella. "Please Bella call me Edward."

"Right, sure, ok- I just wasn't sure if after last night-"

"Call me Edward," I tell her once more before she nods and leaves the room closing the door behind her.

She is better off without me, of course, but I can't stand to think of myself without her by my side. This weekend will only be bearable because of her. And still with her near, it will be the sweetest torture I have ever known.


	3. Chapter 3

Bella leaving my presence does nothing for my senses. It only serves to aggravate them further. Somehow, even though she has left, I feel her more keenly than before. The pillows that she had just leaned over, so she could shake me awake, now smell of her. The very air around me carries a floral scent, something like freesias, mixed with strawberries. It is both innocent and alluring. The singularly most delicious aroma I have ever encountered.

I am supposed to be dressing to meet with Alice, and yet all I can do is pace the length of the room like a rabid lion trying to find an escape. And I cannot stop. My mind cannot reconcile the two sides of my feelings together. They merge together while still staying separate. Like oil floating on the surface of the water it was poured into. They somehow sit there together without ever becoming one. My life, my "fits", as Alice so eloquently put it, and my want for a normal life. My needs, to have a woman to come home to, to lie in bed next to while admiring her beauty. I want to be able to hold someone when I can finally quiet my mind enough to sleep. I want all that other people have, that has been elusive to me thus far.

Yet, I cannot seem to do that to any woman. No person should be forced to live my life with me. Least of all the stunning delicate creature that looked so hurt by my change of mood last night. The conversation had been glorious until I was reminded once more that it would never work. I was gifted musically. But it was as much a gift as it was a curse. My melodies would not come unless they were worked out from weeks of isolation. The tempos never rang true until I had toyed with them on the keys of my piano for hours on end. It was a life, a job, a lifestyle that was meant only for me, and no one else. Why pursue this wonderful woman only to bring her to the dark pits of despair with me?

No, I would save her, save myself, from bringing her where I most wanted her to be. She would stay safe and warm right here where she belonged. I will not walk out the door of this room and engage her in what would only be false hope for us. '_Liar'. _ I shake my head at the errant thought that runs through my head. I will stay at a safe distance from her. '_With her in your arms, in your bed. That is the only distance you will be happy with'._

I run my hand through my hair for at least the tenth time in as many minutes. As quickly as I make up my mind to stay away I have another voice in my mind telling me it will not be at all possible. While here I will not be able to keep away from this curious little woman. But somehow I must. My desire for her cannot outweigh all that I know is best for her. I must think about her well being. Even while my mind is trying to tell me it will not work; that I will not make it more than an hour I know that is what I have to do. I must keep her safe from being hurt- from being around me.

'_She is already hurt because of you. She is owed an apology, an explanation. She needs something to make her feel like she has no reason to keep avoiding you.' _The gentleman within me knows that it is true. She is owed an apology. I was abrasive and abrupt in ending our conversation. And the curt greeting she gave me this morning tells me that she is far more hurt than she is letting on.

I pick a shirt out of my bag without truly looking at it and toss it over my head quickly before running my hands through my hand once more. I know my hair is a useless mess but I can't contain the need to try and make it slightly more presentable. I hope I look presentable as I throw on a pair of boots and make my way out of the room.

The house is more alive than it was last night when we arrived. I can pick out the quiet voice of Alice over the loud roar of laughter lifting from Emmet's chest. There is a clanking and clattering of plates and silverware which means that my siblings where taking their time eating through their breakfast. I hear a male voice that I can't place and Bella's sweet voice trying to be gentle but still firm. Though from my spot at the end of the hall I cannot hear much more than murmurs. The hiding place seems safe and I am reluctant to leave it. Reluctant to see Alices worried expression or Bella and her expressive eyes that will tell me how hurt and confused she geniunely is.

But I know what I must do. I cannot stand here and be a coward all day. My father raised me with better principals than to cower; and my mother with better morals than to let a woman go on suffering because of my insensitive manner.

At the end of the hallway I find Bella conversing with a man that I had not seen last night. The look on her face is one of indifference, though the man doesn't seem to notice.

"Excuse me," I say quietly leaning into Bella more than necessary. Her smell is exquisite. "Would you mind if I had a moment with Bella?" I ask the man in front of me who now looks positively dumbfounded.

"I- uh-" was the intelligent reply.

"This is Mike, our cook. Mike was heading back into the kitchen to make sure everything was ok. If you need something Mr. Cullen I would be happy to discuss it with you."

The pointed look she threw to Mike was not lost on either of us as he slinked toward the kitchen like a scolded puppy.

"You handled that very nicely," I say lightly leaning against the desk.

"I can be ferocious when I need to be."

"Yes, as ferocious as a furry kitten."

"Hey, I am a real bear, a tiger even!"

"Tiger cub, yes."

"Was there something that you wanted? Other than to comment on my ferocity, or lack thereof."

I laugh and notice that although her face seems annoyed I can see the soft playfulness in her eyes. Almost as if she wants to be angry but cannot pull it off entirely.

"Yes, I wanted to talk to you about last night."

"I understand really I do."

"You do?"

"Of course. I was unprofessional and I should have realized you wanted to be alone."

"No," I tell her quickly and more emphatically than I meant it to be. "I mean yes, I should be alone but not because of you. You were nothing short of lovely all night. It was wrong of me to cut you off so quickly after you went through so much trouble for me. I am sorry for being rude. It seems like I am constantly apologizing to you," I mutter quietly.

"I don't quite understand?"

I smile softly at her as her voice makes a question out of her words. "I just wanted to tell you that you did absolutely nothing wrong. Your company was very delightful."

"But, we won't be doing it again," she says slowly to verify the truth of them.

I shake my head in response and let my dark mood take over. Letting a brooding, sad melody fill my head as I try to avoid those large soul searching eyes of hers.

"Ok well thank you for telling me. I had a very good time last night. Your family is waiting for you in the kitchen with a plate of breakfast."

"Bella, I- it isn't- it's just- I had a great time last night." I finish my stuttering quietly. So many things that I would love to say to her and my courage fails me as I stay quiet.

"So did I."

I nod and stand up straight. There are so many more things I would love to say to her; that I can say to her. Instead I clear my throat awkwardly and shift my eyes to the floor.

"Don't forget, I'm still right next door if there's anything that you need. Really, anything at all."

I look up to see the sincerity shining in her large eyes. I swallow the lump that has risen up from the pit of my stomach and nod once more.

"Your family has kept a plate warm for you, enjoy your breakfast Mr. Cullen."

"Please," I request once more, knowing that it sounds more like begging than anything. "Please call me Edward. I need you to call me Edward."

"Enjoy your day, Edward."

I can feel the large smile that has graced my lips. Nothing has ever sounded more beautiful than that angel passing my name through her lips.

I walk into the kitchen knowing there is no way that I can displace my smile. My name has never sounded so wonderful, and I know the memory of it will not be leaving my mind.

"Good morning," I say as I sit down in the only vacant chair.

"Edward I've been trying to wake you for hours. Why wouldn't you come when I called?"

"Alice I got to sleep very late, or early, and I needed the rest. Not everyone can be a regular sunshine girl like you." I give her a smile so she can ease her worrying.

"You just sounded so-"

"I was simply tired. And I would appreciate it greatly if you stopped watching over me like at any second I might just spontaneously combust."

"I'm sure you won't Eddie. Even if you haven't had a girl in a while doesn't mean you can't take care of things yourself."

I cringe at the loud roar of Emmet's voice and grab the plate set aside for me. I am not truly hungry. I simply need something to occupy my hands and focus my attention.

"Emmet, please, do not be so crude. And watch how loud you are. There are other people around beside us."

"Oh don't be such a prude. Everyone around knows what sex is. Even if you don't know by practice you know in theory."

"Yes, Emmet I am familiar with sex. However everyone around need not hear your take on my sex life."

"Or lack of."

"Ok, can we please change the subject?" I say as I pinch the bridge of my nose trying to alleviate the building anxiety I am feeling.

"What had you up so late last night? Are you having trouble with insomnia again?" Jasper asks kindly and quietly.

He had always been able to sense when I was becoming overly anxious. His easy manners where always what was needed to calm me.

"No, I was able to fall asleep after the ragged day Alice put me through," I send a teasing smile her way as she pouts and sticks out her tongue. "I woke up hungry and wasn't able to fall back asleep after that."

"Well you did pass on having a big dinner. I never did understand how you could eat so little." Emmet says in an almost offended tone. As if someone passing down a meal was one of the deadly sins.

"Emmet not everyone is ruled by the constant need to eat." Rosalie rolls her eyes and tries to hide the smirk that she is fighting.

The two being so opposite worked in their favor. He lightened her up considerably while being willing to deal with her "high maintenance" attitude. And she kept his immature impulses in line. We all lived happier lives since the two found eachother to even the other one out.

"It isn't a very big deal. I had a midnight snack with Bella and then went back to my room."

"With Bella?" Alice asks in a stunned voice

"The one at the front desk?" Rose asks doing her best to act bored but letting a bit of her curiosity shine through.

"Wait, she let you have a snack? She said nothing from the kitchen at night. Why did you get a snack?"

Emmet's childish whine sends everyone at the table laughing.

"I guess I'm just better looking."

"Ok, ok," Alice calls out over the laughter. "Before you start going into who's prettier, I want to know what happened with Bella last night."

I shrug my shoulders and push the food around the plate. "It was nothing, just a little conversation while eating. She told me she did that painting in the front room."

"You mean the one that you were staring at for ten minutes last night?"

"Yes that one," I say trying to not get irritated with the way my family wanted to make so much out of something so trivial.

"It was just a nice talk. We ate our sandwiches and then said goodnight."

"Edward, it has been a very long time since you've talked to anyone outside the family. I wouldn't count that as nothing to to be excited about."

"Alice, keep your enthusiasm reigned in. I am in no way trying to start anything with her."

"Oh, but why not Edward? She's absolutely delightful, and so beautiful. Just the type of woman that would keep your interest."

"I know that everyone gets tired of hearing this, but I agree with Alice," Jasper's calm voice floats towards me over the groans coming from my siblings. "We all saw how you looked at her last night. She could be perfect for you. You owe it to yourself to at least see what can come of it."

"She doesn't deserve to be sucked into my life. She is sweet and gentle. She needs someone who can worship and adore her."

"You can do that Edward; in fact you are probably doing that already. I know you Edward. Look me in the eyes and tell me that you haven't been thinking about her non-stop." Alice's eyes are as wide as saucers as she stares at me waiting for my answer. The innocence and simplicity in which she is putting the entire situation causes my heart to lighten against my will.

She has always believed that I could do anything, fix any wrong, and make everything in her world right. I was her older brother.

"I'm sorry Alice, but I cannot do this. I won't bring her into my life. You are the only one that can withstand my introverted behavior."

"That is not true!"

"It actually is," Rosalie mutters while sipping her drink. "What?" She asks surprised that Alice would be glaring at her.

"Edward, there is nothing wrong with having a hard time showing people the real you. We all love you just the way you are."

"What about the times when I will not leave the house for weeks at a time while composing? Or how I pace the floors all night trying to fix the melodies? If that isn't bad enough how about the number of times I snap and yell at someone for interrupting me while working? I am fine living alone. And we will all leave her be."

"Edward you can't really believe that-"

"We are going to leave her alone Alice."

"I don't think we will, well you won't at least."

"Of course I will. Its what is best for her."

"Try thinking about leaving her alone. Being near her and not talking to her, think about it. Can you do that?"

My head drops to my chest as Alice voices the truth that I have feared all morning. Bad or good, while here I won't be able to leave Bella Swan alone.

"See?" Alice says in her smug voice. She loves to be right and has never been ashamed of that fact.

I do not have to look up to know that my family will all have knowing smirks on their faces. Am I truly that transparent to all of them?

"You will not get involved Alice," I tell her sternly. "I mean it. Whether you believe it is meant to be or not; you will leave her be."

"Fine," she says with an angry huff heaving her chest dramatically to prove how annoyed she is. "I won't like it, but if it gets you talking to her I will survive," her voice automatically becoming energetic and chipper once more. "Well we're off on a romatic hike through the woods. Feel free to stay here," she says to me as she stands and grabs Jasper; both of them smiling and dancing out of the room.

I breathe a deep sigh of relief and let my posture relax.

"Its an all day thing, so enjoy the time to yourself. Tomorrow Alice has some all day valentines day celebration planned." Emmet says good naturedly.

"Em, I don't even have a valentine. Why would I want to celebrate?"

"Its mandatory, so suck it up Edward," Rosalie's icy voice says before strutting out of the room.

I turn to Emmet who simply shrugs and smirks. It's always the same look he gives me. The one that says, somehow I've offended Rosalie and she's as nice as she's going to get toward me. I shake my head at his boyish ways and go back to playing with my food.

"Just enjoy the day around here with Bella," Emmet says as he stands from the table.

I feel my face drop and my eyes widen as Emmet laughs at my nervousness. Not going on the hike with two couples very much in love seemed like a god send to me. My body, still reeling from my strange sleep pattern last night, would not be able to keep up like I would want it to. Being able to relax without having my piano sitting like an ominous threat in front of me was heaven. I could hear the angelic choirs sing the moment I had been exempt from the outing. I had not thought once about being stuck all day in close proximity to Bella.

"Relax Eddie, it isn't like you're going to steal her away and drink her blood. Just talk to the girl. You know you can at least do that part."

I stare blankly ahead of me not caring if Emmet thinks that I am awkward with girls. The truth is that he does not know what I am capable of. Neither do I, for that matter, when it comes to Bella. She is absolutely alluring, and my body cannot help but respond. For all I know I could very well carry her off to never be seen again.

"I- I don't think I should. It would be a bad idea—should I really?" I ask stupidly.

"Edward, I get it, I do. You're always locked up in your music room, brooding over something or other. Don't get me wrong, that works fine for you. Alice comes and drags you out every day so you remember what the sun looks like, and you have a happy enough life. Now all of a sudden here comes a girl that you are attracted to. Not someone that you're trying to be attracted to; but honestly attracted to. It scares you, and why wouldn't it? You've never even popped your cherry."

I roll my eyes at Emmet's crudeness. "Isn't that something that happens to girls?"

"That's not the point. The point is, if you aren't gay, and you want this girl; go get her. Get over the virginal fear and make a move. Even if it starts by talking. It's never going to get any easier unless you talk to her."

I nod knowing that Emmet is right. His words, although childish are true. Nothing will get any better if I run. I have never been cowardly before. Thinking that this woman would have me hiding from her for the entire weekend only seemed foolish to me. I was not raised a coward, I would not act like one now.

"Thanks Emmet. Sometimes those muscles let enough blood flow to your brain, and you think of some pretty good advice."

"See? And Rose says I'm only good in bed, I'll tell her."

His muttering continues out of the kitchen and up the stairs as I chuckle and finally find my appetite enough to eat.

"Are you finished?"

I look over to see the man from before standing timidly at the table. "Mike right?" I ask as he nods his head. "Yes, I am thank you. Although I thought you were the cook?"

"I am, and Angela normally clears the table and whatever else but she got stuck home. A family emergency or something, I don't know. I'm just trying to help Bella out however I can."

"Have you known her long?" I ask the underlying curiosity about her coming out full force.

"For a few years. Her mom hired me, and then Bella took over not too long ago. She's easy going, always lets us have our time when we need it. So I try to do the extra work whenever I can," he says trying to sound heroic and sincere.

I try to keep from rolling my eyes. I've seen these people everywhere. They do the bare minimum and make themselves look like martyrs when asked to do extra work. His voice is full of fake bravado and masculinity. He is more boy than man and does his best to hide that fact.

"She seemed a little irritated this morning," I say casually trying to keep him talking.

"Nah, she just acts that way at work whenever I try to get her to date me. She's got some strict thing about dating someone working with her. It's not any official rule, or anything, just her 'morals' or whatever."

"Well, work relationships can be tricky," I say lightly watching how his face falls slightly.

"I won't be giving up though. She likes me, I know she does. She just has to get over her little dilemma and then she'll be all over me."

I suppress the growl that is rising from the back of my throat. Nothing about this _boy _is good enough for Bella. I can see now why she would never want to date him.

What surprises me even more than that is the heart ache I feel simply thinking about her being with another man. Knowing that someone else can love and cherish her better than I can is physically painful. And I feel so inept. How can I compose an entire symphony piece but not be able to love? So many women rejecting me because of who I am; knowing that could be Bella wrenches my gut.

"Well," I say clearing my throat. "I hope you have the best of luck in that endeavor. She seems like a great girl."

The sun shining through the windows is a rare sight around this area so I take the time to enjoy the weather and sit out on the front porch. I wave to my siblings who are loading the car up and playfully bickering with each other. I love spending time with them, but today I am nothing but grateful for the reprieve.

Alice gives me a knowing smirk and waves quickly before launching herself into the front passenger seat and toying with the radio. I shake my head and smile back. Alice does everything for a reason; even "allowing" me to have the day to rest. Why should I go with them when I can stay and interact with Bella? It is the one thing Alice wants most. And what Alice is best at is allowing situations to happen and play out just as she wants them to.

"Good one, little sis'" I mutter to myself as I lean back and close my eyes. My body is tired and the sun feels like a warm blanket over my entire body despite the cold winter chill that sits in the air.

My mind feels groggy as I hear a door open and footsteps against the boards of the porch. "Oh," a soft voice says in surprise.

I open my eyes to see Bella standing a few feet away from me, her hair windswept and her cheeks tinted red from the cold. I smile and stretch out my sore neck. "Hey," I say throatily, my voice still filled with sleep.

"I'm sorry to wake you. I didn't know anyone was out here. I thought you had gone with your family."

"Alice gave me the day off," I say lightly smiling. "What makes you brave the cold?"

"I've been setting up rooms all morning and trying to get Mike to take a hint and I just needed a break," she says in a rush.

"He does seem rather—persistent," I say laughingly.

"That's the nicest way to put it."

I see her body shiver and shake my head. How is it possible that she would rather stand in the cold than hurt that boy's feelings?

"Why don't we go back inside? I can sneak off a couple cups of tea. You can hide out in my room for a while. I don't think anyone would look for you there."

Her eyes widen once more as she takes a moment to think over my proposal. Her lips slightly parted in shock and her hair whipping around her wildly is a moment that I never want to end.

"I don't know, I really wouldn't want to impose. Really it isn't that bad out, just a few more minutes and I'd be ready to face the workload again."

"Please, for my peace of mind. I would hate to think that you came down with a cold from standing out here. Especially when I have a perfectly warm, good room you can use. What would my mother say?"

Bella laughs and her posture loosens up. "Ok, I wouldn't want to disappoint your mother."

"You shouldn't, she's a wonderful woman. Come on I'll sneak you in."

"Are you sure?" she asks one more time.

I nod my head smiling. My head is telling me to run a hundred miles away, to have Bella run. But my heart can do nothing but sing and ask her to stay. A duality of wants, and needs that sits inside of me. _Run Bella run, stay Bella stay. _They will never co-exist with each other happily, but my heart wins out. As I knew it would.

"I am absolutely sure Bella. Please accompany me inside to my room? We'll sit down and have a nice chat over tea."

"What are you, English?" she says laughingly.

"Actually, we lived there for a few years. Very lovely place. Come on, let's go in," I say nudging her shoulder and moving to open the door.

Nothing will be able to stop me from being consumed by this woman. She is everything that I want, and I don't know how to stop it, or that I even want to.


	4. Chapter 4

Edward lets me inside first and I am glad for the few moments of silence to collect my thoughts. Hadn't he, not even three hours ago, told me that we wouldn't be having anymore talks like we had last night? And hadn't my heart died just a little bit knowing that this perfect man did not want me like I had wanted him? Now I stood in front of him heading to his room to "hide out". He had seemed genuinely upset this morning, but now he seemed freer, lighter somehow, and my mind is reeling from the transformation.

He steps in front of me and looks around the room making sure there is no one around to see me. I giggle at the obviously exaggerated movements that he is making and see his shoulders shake slightly telling me that he is laughing too.

"Come on, it's all clear," he says in a stage whisper waving me on down the hallway.

His change of mood is baffling in the least. Yet I wouldn't want it any other way. Somehow I already know that he is a constant flow of different emotions. That one simple word or odd look can make his demeanor change completely. He can flip his personality in a moment's notice; not because he wants it to be that way, but because there is something holding him back.

I keep quiet until I am in the room sitting on a chair by the window and he is sitting on the bed.

"Thank you. I would have been fine staying outside, but I can't deny this is a lot more comfortable."

"Would you really brave that cold day rather than deal with Mike?" His voice sounds slightly incredulous and possibly annoyed; as if the very thought somehow bothered him.

I shrug my shoulders and look out the window at the graying sky. It never stays sunny for very long in Washington. "Mike is a nice guy. And he's helped me out a few times when I'm in a tough spot. I don't want to hurt his feelings at all. He knows that I won't date him; he just can't help hoping that one day it will change."

"It's a very cold day out there Bella, you could have gotten very sick."

"You were out there sleeping," I say not bothering to hide my annoyance. People have been sheltering and over protecting me my entire life. It was a theme that I was sick of. I have been caring for my mother, running her inn, and taking care of my own life for years. What would make someone believe that I wouldn't be able to keep myself from getting a cold?

"True, I was. It wasn't the smartest move. But I've also been raised in much colder weather. This to me feels rather warm."

I snort and shake my head. "It can't be more than thirty degrees out there. How is that warm?"

"I grew up for quite a while in the upper regions of Alaska. We were celebrating if it reached thirty this time of year."

I sigh and stay quite. "I'm not as fragile as people want to believe," I mutter under my breath not looking Edward in the eyes.

I hear him chuckle and the mattress groan from the shift of his body weight. "It still does not mean it's healthy to be out in that weather. What would you prefer to drink? Would you like some hot tea? Perhaps hot chocolate would be nicer?"

I laugh and finally turn my eyes towards his. His eyes are sparkling and reflecting the serenity he is feeling in this moment. The innocence in his eyes stuns me for a moment and I take the time to look over his face carefully. The way the messy array of bronze hair fell haphazardly into his eyes just so. The strong, square jaw that gave his face the bit of masculinity, that the playfulness of his eyes took away; and his straight nose. His face was perfectly symmetrical; the kind that artists took great pleasure in studying and painting.

"Has anyone ever wanted to paint you?" I ask before I can stop myself.

"I'm sorry?"

I give a shy smile at the tone of confusion in his voice and tear my eyes away from his face. I can feel the blush creep into my cheeks and I don't want to feel any more of a fool than I do right now. "I'm sorry, it's just that your face it's so—it's perfect for painting. I'll have some tea. A slight bit of milk and three spoons of sugar."

"Oh—uh yes, tea ok. I'll be right back with that. You just stay out of sight." He says with a teasing smile before he is through the door and out of sight.

I let out a sigh and look around the room. I have always had a problem with letting my mouth run away with me. I can never seem to grasp the concept that either people have better hearing than I believe, or I do not mutter as quietly as I should. My remarks are heard when I would rather have them kept to myself. Edwards face as I asked him whether people have wanted to paint him was one of pure shock. And right now I could die from mortification. The most beautiful man that I have ever seen walks into my life, and I ruin it before it ever has a chance to begin.

Trying to get my mind off of how I will have to avoid Edward for the rest of the weekend I look around and notice that things are placed very neatly around the room. Sitting on top of his neatly folded shirts that are still in his suitcase, is a picture. My curiosity gets the better of me and I pick it up and study the faces. All five of the Cullen's stand smiling; as usual the beauty of each of them is almost over powering.

It isn't the beauty of any of them that stops my breath; seeing as how the picture can barely capture the true elegance and grace of all of them. Rather it is Edwards demeanor that throws me. His smile is wider, happier, than I have yet to see. His arms thrown carelessly around his sister and his chin resting on her head. He is the perfect picture of ease. He is not trying to force or fake his way through conversation. He isn't trying to convince anyone that he is happy here. In that moment he was free to just simply be.

"That picture was taken nearly three years ago."

I jump at the soft voice so close to my ear. How long have I been studying the picture?

"I had just sold a piece that had taken me five years to finish. We all went off for a vacation on my mothers island."

"I'm sorry did you say island?" I ask shocked at the thought of someone owning an island.

Edwards sheepish smile tells me that I did in fact hear him right.

"It was an anniversary present from my father. It was their twentieth anniversary a very big deal."

"Not even Brangelina get each other presents like that."

His chuckle is across the room now as I hear him set down the cups of tea.

"My family has a bit more money than Brangelina, Bella. But it was a one time splurgence. We don't exactly go out buying islands on a whim."

This time I laugh with him as I set the picture down. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to snoop or anything. I was just walking around and it-- it caught my attention," I finish lamely and mumbling to my shoes.

"Please don't apologize. It isn't like you went rifling through my draws. I tend to travel quite a bit; for business and pleasure. I got into the habit of taking a few personal pictures with me to make it feel a bit less lonely."

"Well you all look very happy."

"We were-- then," he says quietly. "Come, sit and have your tea," his voice is stronger now and I know he is switching topics on me.

I turn and smile at him making my way over to the small table by the window. "Thank you this is very nice of you."

He smiles brightly and pushes a cup towards me. "Mike is not very sharp. He was very confused at first, as to why I wanted two cups. I told him I was saving one for my sister. That I never drink a cup without her."

I giggle and shake my head. "But he saw her leave; what did he say?"

"Well, he asked me when my sister was getting back. When I told him that it wouldn't be for a few hours yet he looked at me strangely. I assured him that I would keep the tea warm until she got back and walked away. I think he is standing there still trying to figure out how I plan on accomplishing that."

I laugh and shake my head; the mental image of a confused Mike still standing in his spot trying to solve a problem he would never have an answer to.

"Is anyone asking for me out there?" I ask worrying that my break will make the inn suffer somehow.

"Not at all. The few guests you checked in this morning are being handled by a very nice brunette."

"Angela," I tell him approvingly.

"And Mike is serving the last remnants of breakfast to those who want it. Just relax, Bella. You needed the break so take it."

I let out a deep breath and let my shoulders relax. "You're right, I should. So Edward what brings you here? I know you're sister dragged you up here, but why did she?"

"I believe she was afraid of what I would do if I were alone on Valentines Day."

I give him a curious glance as I fix my tea and take a sip from it.

"I have been alone for some time now and she-- she worries about that. She thinks that I am not open enough to allow myself any happiness."

"Do you think that its true?" I ask staring intently at him.

"Perhaps it is. I find it more likely that I haven't found that one that can love and understand me. I've tried before, it just doesn't work out in the end."

"Why not? I mean I think you're great," I say candidly.

He smiles at his cup of tea and avoids my gaze somewhat shyly.

"Thank you for the sweet compliment. I believe it would be harder for you though should you have to actually date me."

"I don't see how it would be."

"Women, they can't seem to, they don't-- they aren't very understanding. About the long nights, or my travel, or that my passion for music has yet to be eclipsed by themselves."

"I think then, that you have been dating all the wrong women. When you date someone, and when you fall in love with them, you take them all. Every single aspect, not just one. You need the good with the bad. And to expect to be thrown up at the top of the list the moment you start dating is just irrational. Every new couple needs time to adjust to each other. That's how I feel about it anyway," I say quietly as I see that his eyes are blazing with an emotion unknown to me.

"If things could be so simple for me, I think I would be much happier." His sad smile makes my heat ache and I reach my hand towards him before seeing his hand quickly pull away under the table.

"Alice brought me here because I hadn't left my apartment in weeks, and I haven't slept more then a few hours a night for as long as I can remember. I spend all day pacing my apartment hoping to finish the score of music I'm working on. I forget to eat, to drink, to sleep. I have no real idea on how to socialize with anyone outside of my family. Alice, she is my rock, the one person that always comes back no matter what I say or do to her. No one else can stand me for much longer than a few months at a time."

I stare at Edwards angry expression wanting to feel gratitude, or a sense of hope and closeness that he is opening up to me. But I know that, that is not what he is doing. He hasn't just given me his life story out of an act of friendship, but as some form of warning. As an easy way for him to escape the connection the two of us feel towards eachother.

"Edward, it sounds like you need a friend." I say with a gentle smile grabbing a hold of the hand he is using to hold his cup of tea.

"Bella, you are too kind for your own good. Have you no sense of self-preservation? Who I am, how I live, it hurts those around me."

"Edward, you aren't a monster," I say laughingly. "You aren't as bad as you may think. And no matter what you say you aren't going to eat me or anything."

I smile as he throws his head back and laughs. It is the first fully carefree moment he's had since he's been here. And it makes me wonder how many moments like this he gets to enjoy during his daily life.

"You are a good guy," I say rubbing his hand soothingly.

"How do you know that for sure? How do you know I'm not really the bad guy?"

"I'm not running and screaming, so that's one indicator," I tease lightly. "Not having friends is a lonely thing. If nothing else, let me be your friend."

"I-I haven't had many opportuinities to make friends. I am confused as to how it all works."

"Don't be so complex, Edward. This is what friends do."

I look down at the cup of tea and notice that its empty.

"I should get back to work. There's book keeping, setting up rooms, cleaning, tons to do to keep me busy."

"How about I help?"

"Edward you are a guest. I'm supposed to be making sure you have the most relaxing stay possibly. What would other guests think if I let you help me with my work?"

"That my mother raised me right, and I am a very helpful gentleman?"

I laugh and stand up making my way towards the bedroom door. "I couldn't possibly let you help me, but there is something that might be able to keep you occupied."

"What would that be?" He asks, and I can hear the curiosity in his voice.

"Follow me," I tell him before walking out of the room and down the hall.

I don't turn around after I walk out, but I can hear his light footsteps following me down the hallway. I open the door to the basement flicking on the dim light above the stairs before heading down.

"Bella, what are we-"

"Sshh, just wait a moment, and you'll see."

"I don't like waiting," he mumbles quietly.

"I bet you were three weeks early when you were born," I say laughingly.

"Three and a half actually," he teases back. "Now what is down here that you want to show me?"

"Before my mother left we were working on remodling the basement, and turning it into a general rec area. It's almost done, we just ran into a few snags. But before we stopped the renovation, we got this baby in."

I open the door to what we had planned out as a small music room and flip on the light. The slight gasp that I hear come from Edwards mouth tells me that I am right in assuming he would enjoy playing it.

"Its a baby grand piano," I tell him like he won't know. "I don't know the maker but its supposed to be pretty good. If you want to do anything for me; you'll play this while I do the book keeping."

"But how will you hear?"

I smile pleased that he isn't telling me no, and shrug my shoulders lightly. "Well I have to go check on things upstairs which shouldn't take more than a half hour; I thought I could do my work down here," I say quietly getting very shy. The idea that he could say no makes my stomach tighten into knots.

I quickly realize that I shouldn't have worried as Edwards face breaks out into a dazzling smile.

"You would want to do that? To listen to me play?"

"Of course, you've got to have some talent if you're some bigshot in the music world," I joke and give him a smile of my own.

"Ha, only in orchestra and classical. I'm nobody to most of the world."

"Well, you're someone here," I say as I feel my cheeks start to blaze. "I would love to hear you play."

I stare at his expression as he does his best to avoid my eyes. I see a hint of worry and sadness before Edwards face smoothes out into a mask of serenity.

"It would be my honor," he whispers as he unleashes his crooked smile and walks over to the piano.

"I hope you find it to your liking. I'll be back in about a half hour. I just have to make sure all guests are checked in and happy, and that Angela knows where to find me if there are any snags. But don't wait for me to come down, you can start playing whenever you'd like."

I see him nod his head slightly, but I can tell that he is no longer with me. With his eyes closed and head slightly bent, he is lost in his world of music. And never before have I beheld anything so beautiful and magnificent from a human being. I can see his body sway slightly as if he is dancing to the melody in his head. Every cell in his body is given over to the music.

I give one last quick look before making my way upstairs; already feeling lonely and cold.

I smile at the passing guests answering their questions and taking their compliments with what I hope is graceful humility. The truth is I am extremely uncomfortable with compliments. I always feel they are undeserved. I run this bed and breakfast to make my mother happy. It isn't very much; yet people make it more.

As always I find Angela doing an excellent job. My workload is always lightened when she is working. She is my right arm, always by my side at work. But even she cannot hold my attention for long.

My ears strain to hear the sound of the piano come up from the floorboards. I left all the doors open so that I could hear him while I walked around. And at times when I have a moment of silence I can hear the notes rise faintly up from underneath me. Even though it is only music it feels like Edwards arms themselves are wrapped around me telling me how glorious I am.

"Bella," I look toward the voice and see Angela waving me over towards the front desk.

"People are wondering about the music coming from downstairs."

"Is it bothering anyone? I can close the doors down there," I say quickly trying to hide the disappointment that I feel deep inside. Edward's playing is soothing to me and I don't want to give up the feeling.

"No, actually everyone loves it. They find it beautiful. Listen to that, how could you not. They want to know where its coming from and if you could turn up the volume," Angela replies laughingly and eyeing me with a knowing look.

"Well I can't really turn up the volume. One of our guests is down there playing right now. But if people like it maybe we can start having music playing in the background regularly. Anything to drum up business."

"Would this be the man that Mike saw you talking to earlier. He's been muttering something about how looks aren't everything, and that he's a pretty good looking guy himself."

I let out a laugh with Angela and shake my head. "When will Mike get a clue? I'm not attracted to him. And yes that's the same man. Edward Cullen, he's a very well known composer. I just wanted to keep him happy with our services."

"Right, and what 'services' will you be offering to him? Some after hour specials?"

"You know I'm not like that Ang. Besides he is way out of my league. He wouldn't be interested in me."

"Oh Bella you're impossible."

"So, what are your plans with Ben tomorrow?" I ask trying to change the subject. No part of me feels like hearing a "you are more beautiful than you think" lecture.

"Changing the subject, very smooth. We are doing some swank restaurant in Seattle. He said he's determined to make this the most special valetines day ever."

"Well I hope that it is. You'll have to tell me all about it on Monday. You have the entire weekend off."

"Really? Are you sure you can manage?"

I hear the excitement in her voice and nod my head vigorously. "As long as I do the books tonight I'll be fine for the weekend. Can you handle things up here? You know how I like to disappear when doing the books."

"Of course. I'll have everything squared away in perfect shape before I punch out."

"Thanks Ang. I'll be downstairs doing the books."

"With Mr. Sexy piano man?"

"It isn't like that," I say quietly and even I cannot deny my voice is filled with sadness over that fact.

I grab the stack of books I need and my laptop and make my way downstairs without looking back. The sadness that made its way onto Angela's face is more than my already frayed emotions can handle. I do not need anyone feeling sorry for me. I know where I stand in life; and getting some like Edward Cullen is not in the cards for me.

The sweet sound that rushes around me as I enter the music room once more soothes my nerves. The melody is calming and almost haunting with its undertone of despair. But there is no denying how undoubtedly beautiful it is.

"It's marvelous," I say quietly after I settle myself in a chair. "What is it?"

"Well, it isn't quite finished, but its a lullaby."

"A very lovely one. How long have you been working on it?"

"It just came to me when I sat down."

I stare at Edwards tensed back trying to figure out what has caused his change of emotion. His relaxed posture has now become rigid and stressed.

"Does that happen to you often? I mean, that songs just come to you that easily?" I ask trying to find a topic he can talk about easily.

I watch as he stiffens even more and drops his chin to his chest. He seems slightly embarassed. But without seeing his face or knowing what there is to be embarassed about I can't be totally sure.

"No, this has never happened before. Songs don't- they-- I always have to pull them out from the recesses of my mind."

"Wherever they come from, the world is lucky to have you pull them out."

I let myself relax and smile as I hear Edwards beautiful laughter fill the room.

"That is the most honest compliment I have ever received Bella."

"That can't be true."

"It is true. Others have an alternate agenda in mind when paying me compliments. They may like my compositions; but their compliments are always over done and false."

"Then they don't know how beautiful your music really is," I tell him firmly trying to get myself concentrated back on work. "True beauty never needs to be over done, or ruined by indulgence. That's how I feel about it anyway."

"I could not have said it better myself," he says before launching into another piece.

I don't know how much time passes as I sit on the chair and do the accounting. Its a menial, boring task that I dread doing. But Edwards playing puts a light spin on it and helps it feel a bit less tiresome.

I rub my eyes vigourously trying to end the stinging in them and look up to find Edward watching me; his back now turned to the piano the expression on his face is blazing.

"Why do you rub your eyes so much? Is that a common thing you do?"

"No, not at all actually. My eyes act up when I get tired."

"Are you tired?"

"After staying up all night talking to you and my day at work I'm pretty exhausted."

"Do you do all the work around here?"

"No, not at all. Angela is amazing, she does all the things that I cannot do. But I'm giving her the weekend off since she deserves it and it leaves me in a lurch. Mike is useless outside of the kitchen, and Jessica is new and only focused on catching Mikes attention."

"So you knew you'd be overwhelmed with work and yet you let Angela have the weekend off?"

Edwards tone is gentle and perplexed. I study his back hoping it will hold some answers but I come up with nothing.

"She needs it. Just like my mother needed her time with Phil."

"But what about you? Do you need time off?"

"I never really thought about it before. I guess I do, but it's not a big deal."

"You are absolutely absurd Bella. Most people would do what they need to do to make their lives easier. You on the other hand never once consider your own well being in the equation."

"I don't really see it that way. I have always had to take care of my mother. Whether she lost the keys or made dinner inedible, I had to keep her safe and happy. I see it as the way that things should be. If there is a way to make someone happy and you can make that happen, why wouldn't you do that?"

"I honestly do not know," Edward answers genuinely. "I have always done my best to keep those around me happy. Though I doubt that I succeed as greatly as you do at that task; you are a much better person than I am."

The familiar feel of my blushing cheeks keep me looking down at the floor as I close all the login books and my laptop.

"Are you finished with your work?"

"Not completely, but I can't stare at the screen anymore. My eyes are too tired."

"Do you think you might need glasses? Perhaps they would help?"

"Possibly, I never gave it much thought."

"You should. Your health is precious. You should treat yourself right and keep your body in good health."

"Thank you Doctor. Cullen. I didn't know that I was speaking to a doctor," I joke standing and stretching my stiff muscles.

"I actually went to medical school before pursuing music."

My head snaps up in utter amazement as I stare at Edward. The look on his face is sheepish, as if he hates to admit that face.

"You—you're a doctor?"

"No, not officially. I never did the residency or any of that to get licensed."

"So you went through the pre-med program without finishing it up? Why?"

"I realized that although I didn't want to do it anymore. I can diagnose an illness in a moment, and I keep my medical knowledge sharp as a game with my father; but I wasn't passionate about it. A boyish dream does not always equal lifelong passion and happiness."

"I wish I had your bravery."

"I'm not sure what you mean?"

I give a thankful smile to Edward as he takes the stack of books from me so I am left with my laptop. "I have never once had the guts to just do what made me happiest. My mother has done it all her life, and only now have I started appreciating that quality. And you did it to pursue your music career. I've just been me, off in the shadows."

"Have you been happy?"

"Mostly, yes," I answer honestly. "I enjoy making others happy, but sometimes I'd like to be seen and heard too."

"I am sure that you'll find your way there. And I am certain that you are seen and heard by more people than you even realize," he tells me quietly training his eyes on the stairs we are now climbing.

"Edward," a high soft voice calls, appearing around the corner. Alice's face brightens as she sees us together. "I thought that I heard piano playing. Was that you?"

"Yes, Alice it was. I was asked by Bella to keep her entertained while she worked."

"I knew it, of course I would know your playing anywhere. I didn't know that you had a piano here Bella."

She loops her arm through mine easily as I lead her to the front desk. "We were working on a recreation area downstairs. We had to stop though, contractor started squeezing us for money we couldn't afford. He was going through a hard time and he transferred it onto us."

"I am so happy that he played for you. Normally it takes him much longer to open up. He is so modest about his many talents."

I hear Edward let out what sounds like a growl, and Alice looks back and makes a face at him.

"Anyway, did you have a good day Edward? I did feel so bad leaving you here alone."

"I am sure you managed just fine without me there Alice," Edward says laughingly, at what seems like an inside joke. "I did have a nice day. I managed to take a nap."

"You, napped? Actually slept?"

"Outdoors," I mutter placing my laptop back behind the desk.

"But he slept, he was fully asleep," Alice says once more sounding more excited than seemed necessary.

"Alright Alice, let's speak of something else please. My nap is not that big of a deal."

"But Edward you-"

"Alice, I haven't unpacked yet. My things are still in suitcases."

"NO, Edward, things will wrinkle. How will I have your outfit ready for tonight if you leave it just sitting there? And then you wonder why I take over your life, honestly."

"The door is open my dear sister," Edward says smiling as we both watch her dance her way down the hallway.

"I'm sorry for that. I know that she can be a bit much."

"No, that's ok. I actually envy you a bit. To have a family that loves each other like that."

A booming laugh and heavy footsteps alert us both to the presence of Edwards brother.

"Eddie, Rose sent me to get you. The girls planned on eating out tonight. Something about not wanting to deal with that Mike guy eyeing them, I wasn't listening."

"Ok, when will we be leaving?"

"Whenever the girls are finally ready, as usual. So I'd start getting ready if I were you. You know how they hate to wait. Hey, Bella," Emmet adds almost as an afterthought. "Hope he wasn't too much of a bother today."

"No, none at all. I hope that everything is to your satisfaction so far. The sights and the inn."

"No need to be all professional with me. I don't stand on pomp and ceremony and I don't want you to either. But just between you and me, the hiking out here is top notch. Though you need to be a bit farther up north and more out in mountain territory to find the bears," he says happily as he throws one large arm around me. "If Eddie here came out with us he might have been able to convince the girls to go a bit farther with the hiking."

"Emmet, when has anyone ever been able to change Rose's mind?" Edward says lightly. "I think you need to get ready to go Em, Rose never liked the 'man smell' as you call it."

"Oh, right, I'll catch you later Bella."

"Bye," I wave slightly and watch as he walks away. "He is really outgoing."

"Always has been. Bella, would you—do you think—could I see you after I get back from dinner? For another snack?"

"Sure, I'd like that," I see trying to keep the enthusiasm out of my voice. "Umm, just knock on my door when you get back."

"I had a wonderful afternoon with you Bella," Edward says moving closer to me.

I watch as his eyes seem to darken from a sparkling green to a nearly onyx color. My chest heaves as I feel my heart pound within my chest.

"I—I had a great time too," I stutter watching as he leans closer to me.

"Bella," he whispers, his voice husky and gravelly."

"Mhmm," I say, my mind becoming fuzzy.

"Bella—I," his face is so close I can feel his breath fan my face and the heat radiate from his body. And I am suddenly aware of every carnal desire that had been dormant for so many years. My entire body craves his touch. "I—I'm—I'm sorry I can't."

"What?" I ask stupidly my mind still high on the hormones racing through me.

"I'm so sorry, please forgive me."

I close my eyes and take a deep breath, inhaling the whole scent of him for a moment before I hear footsteps down the hall.

I open my eyes and find myself alone. I let out a deep sigh and look around the room. "Of course it isn't like that," I say sadly before going back to focusing on my work.


	5. Chapter 5

I was an idiot, a complete fool. How could I believe that spending a moment with Bella would somehow crave my longing for her?

I had spent an entire afternoon with her. We had talked, and then we sat in silence. I had played for her, something that I had not done in so long. When she had showed me the music room I looked around in amusement. It was small, but it had what I needed and that was all that mattered. She was trying her best to placate me so that I would not feel guilty leaving her. Guilt was the last thing that I was feeling. I was lonely without her. The warmth that filled me when she was near disappeared the moment that she left my side. I was not feeling guilty, I was unwilling to let go of all the good she helped me feel.

When she said that she wanted to hear me play I had to do my best not to jump and yell from sheer joy. There was no sense of hesitancy that I felt around other people. My life, my thoughts, who I was, it just all came that much more natural with Bella. The moment that she began climbing the stairs notes began pouring out of me. It was as sweet as she was, with her warmth and caring nature. Soft and alluring, I began to shape the melody into a lullaby. It was a perfect description of what I felt toward her. She was wonderful, absolutely beautiful, and you could feel it in the music. It wasn't long before I felt the desperation slip in. I was not for her, we would end things, and the music took the turn towards the daunting truth.

Nothing like this had happened to me before. I hadn't been able to write pieces so easily since I was right out of high school. Bella asking questions did nothing to relieve my stress. What was I supposed to say to her? _You are my everything now_, I would say, and then watch her run for the stairs. Or _I have never been inspired like this before. Your beauty is truly a miracle of God_. I could not see that going over any better. So instead I stammered through a sentence and did my best to switch the subject.

Something about this woman drew me to her, pulled me closer and closer without any choice. Every time she spoke I found myself captivated by her words. She was everything that I had always dreamed of; but I never truly thought that she existed. She was an ideal that I had placed in my mind to keep just a step ahead of the inevitable heartbreak I would feel. Bella was different though. She sang her siren song pulling me closer to my death; and I responded the only way I knew how. I ran.

I watched as her chest heaved with the unspoken desire that I felt. My body felt an instinctual draw to her as her eyes closed slightly and she stared at me through her impossibly thick lashes. I felt my arm reach for her without my instruction. My body knew it what it wanted, and she was only a foot away. I could feel the heat pour off of her, and I knew her heart was pounding as quickly as mine was. She was everything that I wanted—and everything that I knew sooner or later I would ruin.

I stuttered out an apology and ran down the hall to my room, knowing that she would not dare follow me. A truth that both relieved and upset me somehow. I knew I should leave her alone; that her gentle nature and simple disposition would be broken and battered by my life. I knew that I would never want to damper that bright spirit she had. I also wanted to know that I wasn't such a despicable creature; that somewhere within me there was enough good that someone would want me.

I dressed quickly, and in a fog. I knew that Alice would see my mood and sense my despair the minute she saw my face. She was the only one that could read through my mask of serenity. I sat on the bed and did my best to ignore the distinctive smell of strawberries and flowers that assaulted my nose. Bella's scent was all around me, reminding me of what I had just walked away from. Never in my life had my need for breath been more inconvenient and angering. I sucked in large breathes taking in her scent. Enjoying the burning ache that it caused within my chest. She would be everywhere; I would be surrounded by her smell, her voice while I was still here. And my body, my heart, would be drawn to her; screaming for that special calming feeling that only her presence could bring me. I would need to learn how to be near her without allowing my body to take me where I most wanted to be. I would have to breathe her in deep so that I could learn to be around her without craving to be _with _her.

"Edward," the hardened voice of Alice breaks through my thoughts. "Edward what is wrong with you?"

I look around the table to see four anxious faces staring back at me. I shake my head and try and force a smile onto my face. "Nothing is wrong Alice dear. I'm just tired."

"How can you be tired? You took that nap today. And you spent the day with Bella—"

"Alice," I say firmly. "There is nothing wrong, I am fine."

"That is not true and you know it. When I left you to get ready for dinner you were happy, practically glowing. When I see you here you are gloomy and sulking."

"I am not sulking," I say to her hearing just how petulant I sound.

"Fine then you are pouting, and you haven't said more than two words to any of us all night long."

"I've been speaking to all of you," I say trying to avoid the eyes of anyone at the table. I catch Emmet's eye and see the silent answer of no in them.

"Edward, what are you eating right now?" Alice asks.

"What?"

"You are an in closet gourmet chef. Anytime we go anywhere you pay attention to exactly what you're eating and how it tastes. What are you eating?"

I look around the restaurant and down at the table and realize that I have not paid attention to a single thing that has happened around me. I see the nicely decorated tables, set with candles and dim lighting to give a chic romantic feel. All in all it is a very nice place, not over done, or in danger of being cliché. Just the type of place that fit Alice to a tee; where she could have us all dress up, without having to act to formal or be afraid of lively conversation and laughter. I have eaten the appetizers like a robot. Thinking over my feelings for Bella, and how utterly stupid I was for walking away like that. I have not tasted a single bite of food, and I realize that I am not even hungry.

"I didn't think you could tell me. Now Edward tell me what is going on?"

"I don't really want to talk about it Alice. I came tonight because you wanted to have a nice family night out. Now can't we just have that without analyzing my life?"

"Edward I just—"

"Alice, you are amazing, you are everything to me. You are so much more than just my sister, and I love that you take care of me. You are always there no matter what I say to you or how I behave. But this you cannot fix."

"I don't see why you are so afraid. I see how you look at her, it could be great."

"Or it could be disastrous. She's a great person, and I don't want to ruin that. And we are not speaking of this anymore," I say looking Alice in the eye trying to ignore the pain that is etched on her face.

"You're an idiot," Rose says dismissively looking down at her menu.

"Excuse me?"

"What Rose is trying to say," Jasper says calmly diffusing the situation as always. "Is that we all see what a great person you are and how much you deserve happiness. It hurts us when we see you talking the way you do."

"Jasper is right Eddie. She's a good fit for you. She's nice and sweet, she's got that artistic thing going on and she's real nice to look at. Not that she's got anything on you, baby," he says to Rosalie quickly seeing her look of disapproval. "I'm just saying she's right up his ally. You are the only woman in the world for me," he says smiling full force letting his dimples show.

Rosalie scoffs in response but lets her mouth twitch at the corners just a bit. I can't help but smile at their unspoken language. The way that they show love for each other is like nothing I've seen before, but it is written all over both of them.

"Thank you for your opinions but I already told all of you that this conversation is over."

"No, it isn't. Now tell me what happened today? I know you may find it strange Edward, but I care about Bella. She is a sweet wonderful person and I want to make sure that she is ok. Now tell me what is going on between the two of you." Alice's voice is soft but still demanding. And I have long since learned that although her voice may be soft, there is no ignoring a demand from Alice.

"We were talking and before I went to get changed I nearly kissed her. But before I did, I walked away, got changed and ran out to the car to wait for all of you."

"Oh Edward, why can't you just be happy? She likes you Edward. And you obviously like her, so just let yourself be happy," Alice says in the heartbroken tone I hate to hear her use.

"She's young, vibrant, and far too sweet. She thinks of everyone else before herself. If I were to bring her into my world it would destroy her. That gentle, kind hearted spirit would crumble if we started to date."

"How can you know that for sure? Bella seems like a very headstrong woman. She just might surprise you Edward," Jasper says. Ever the voice of reason, he plays to the one argument I cannot fully dispute. But I shake my head unwilling to give in.

"This is not about whether or not she'll surprise me. Or if she'll learn how to survive in my world. I am certain that she would be fine, if I let her in. This is about saving her from the pain that I know I would bring her. I want to be her friend, but I can't be anything more."

"Edward you can't just decide—"

"Would any of you, if you could, save the one you loved from the pain they've experienced? Jasper, you were in the military for over a decade. How many times have you been shot, stabbed, in war zones? How often does Alice cry when she hears the stories, how often did she cry when you were sent off for a tour and once a day phone calls were the best you could do? Or Rosalie, how many abusive men did you have to put in their place before you found Emmet? How long did it take you to trust that he wasn't the same as the ones that seemed like the prince charming you were looking for? How much did you put him through, to prove himself, to you? Look, I'm not saying that you were the reason for anyone's pain, or that you would do it on purpose; but if you could stop it, make sure that it never happened, wouldn't you want to do that?" I say finishing breathlessly looking at Alice and Rosalie who now had tears swimming in their eyes. I look at Jasper and Emmet who nod slightly in acknowledgement of my rant. No, they might not fully believe it, but they do understand just that much more what I am feeling.

"I still say that you're an idiot anyway," Rosalie mutters not looking at me.

I allow a smile to cross my lips faintly before I stare at the tablecloth as if it held all the answers to my problems. Rosalie and I always had a contentious relationship. We argued and showed love to each other in a way that the others could not understand. She had been through far too much in her life to be sweet and kind. As the years wore on she only remembered how to be hard and brazen. Not allowing any man close enough to do her anymore damage; not until Emmet. What came out of her mouth was the best that could be expected as an agreement on my stance. Another one on my side, only Alice was left to pester me about Bella. And even though I can hope for the best, I know that her eternal optimism will not falter.

I hear Alice give a deep sigh and she shakes her head. "I don't care if any of you think that he has a point, because he doesn't. Life is not always pretty Edward. It's the bad as much as the good that shapes our characters. And I think that it's absolutely disgusting that you would think you had enough knowledge and power over fate that you can make this decision without her."

"Alice, she has no self-preservation! She willingly volunteered to work alone all weekend to help out a friend. If I went to her and asked her if she could ever be with me, she would not think about herself. If she won't think about herself then I have to."

"You do not know what is best for her."

"I—"

"She was crying Edward," Alice says coldly. "I heard her in the bathroom crying when I went to see if you were in your room. And when I said goodbye to her at the front desk she looked ready to fall apart. As if the slightest breeze would knock her over. If what's best for her is feeling that way, then be my guest, do what you must. But whatever happened between the two of you was enough to seriously upset her; and she deserves an explanation, as well as an apology."

I look at Alice filled with shock and shame. How could I have done that to her? I was certain that the desire had only been felt on my side.

"You are absolutely right," I say quietly. "I was wrong in what I did and she deserves a true apology."

I fall quiet and feel four pairs of eyes on me, but I pay them no attention. Bella had agreed to spend some time with me after I got back from dinner. Would she still agree now? Was she humiliated like I was for my horrid behavior? Was she hoping that I would kiss her only to have rejection take hold of her? I shake my head and stand up slowly. Whatever her feelings were, I had to explain to her just how wonderful she was, and just how despicable I was.

"Would you mind if I left right now?" I ask the table.

"I guess it's a good thing that we took two cars down. See girls, your obsessive over packing paid off," Emmet says laughing. "We'll be fine, go on."

"Thank you," I say sincerely to all of them.

"No problem brother," Emmet says winking and turning his attention back to Rosalie.

I throw some money on the table, to make up for leaving dinner early and find our waitress. I hadn't felt like coming to dinner, but it made all the difference. Things had been put in perspective for me. That was more important than anything else.

I knock softly on the bedroom door checking my watch. Slightly after ten, I know that Bella still has to be up. When there is no answer, I knock a bit harder and call out. I hear her shuffling around after I call her name twice. The sound is chaotic and a soft grunt comes from her that almost sounds as if she's fallen down. Moments later the door opens and I stand face to face with a flushed Bella.

"Hi, what are you doing here?" I hear the uncertainty in her voice. Her eyes are rimmed red and puffy. What Alice had told me was true. She had been crying.

"You said that I should knock when I got back so that we could have that snack. I brought back a few pieces of chocolate cake." I say trying to sound more confident than I felt.

"I don't know Edward. I really should try to get my sleep. I have a long weekend ahead of me."

"Please, Bella. I know that what happened between—earlier," I say hearing my voice break. "I was wrong to just run like that, and I would like a chance to apologize. Please?" I say close to begging for a few moments with her. I wait a few moments and watch as her thoughts play out on her face. "Please? I come in peace, I swear. Look it's my white flag. Well, Styrofoam box, but the symbolism is still there. Please, Bella, please? I left my family back at the restaurant before they even ordered their entrees. Save me the extra calories and have some of this cake with me," I say cracking a half smile.

I see her smile in return and let myself breath once more. "When you ask like that, I can't really say no. Come on in."

"Thank you."

"I didn't think that you would be coming by tonight," she says quietly motioning over to the large picture window where a couch sat.

"I need to apologize for that. I wasn't thinking straight and Alice set some things in perspective for me. I was very wrong to walk away from you like I did with no explanation."

"Edward, you don't need to explain anything, really. I was a bit shocked that you just walked off like that, but you didn't do anything wrong."

I smile and shake my head. Everything I had said to my family about her was correct. She held no anger, no grudges toward me. She took the blame solely on herself.

"Bella, you are one of a kind. Any other woman would be slapping me, calling me names and possibly throwing shoes at my head."

I hear her let out a soft chuckle. "Who would throw a shoe?"

Her face is gentle but worried. I sigh and hand her a piece of cake wishing that I had spent more of my time trying to understand people's faces and emotions. To me, Bella is such a puzzle, and my impatience to understand her does not help in figuring it all out.

"I'm not mad because there is nothing to be upset about. You are a great man Edward, with amazing talent. That doesn't mean that you and I need to be something more than friends. I was just being an over emotional girl." The deep sigh that comes from her chest is painful for me to hear. "There's no reason for me to take anything out on you. Things aren't like that for us, and there's no one to blame."

"Were you hoping that there would be?" I ask her automatically. I cringe internally at my masochistic nature.

What would knowing the truth help? If she wanted more, I would only feel guilty for hurting her. If she simply thought that I wanted something more and was only trying to appease me I would be severely disappointed. There would be no amount of self assurance that would take away the massive blow to my ego that would ensue.

"I don't really know," she says slowly biting into her cake. "This is really good, by the way."

I stare at her as she looks out the window eating her cake. Her lack of an explanation is irritating. Not nearly as irritating as my lack of knowledge about females or what their silences and expressions mean.

"Bella, why would you assume that I would hold no feelings toward you?"

"Umm, I thought that would be obvious," She says motioning her hand between the two of us. "You are up here, and I'm down here," she now uses her hands as a scale showing the inequality she believes is between the two of us.

"You are absolutely absurd," I say with a small smile and finally begin to taste my cake.

"Edward, what is the point of you being here? Is it to insult me?"

I stare into her eyes for a few moments before I realize that I have unintentionally offended her.

"I'm very sorry Bella. I should not have said that to you. Not that it isn't true, mind you, but still, some things are better left unsaid."

"I'm sorry to snap, but—why are you really here?"

I put my cake down and stare out at the dark. I cannot bring myself to say this to her face. With her wide expressive eyes, it would be hard to finish my speech without feeling the need to draw her into my arms and comfort her.

"I came to apologize, and to explain my actions. I know that you said it wasn't necessary, but after what happened I do think that you deserve one. What happened before I left for dinner was—a mistake. Not that I didn't feel attracted to you at that moment, because I did," I say hastily before she can interrupt of feel undesired. "Desperately," I add quietly. "I regret running from you like that. It was a mistake on more than one account. Sometimes I forget other people's feelings. My mind tends to get wrapped up into how it would affect me. Alice made me realize that I probably hurt your feelings along the way. No matter what I was feeling, you do not deserve that. You are a beautiful, smart, witty woman. Any man would be lucky to have you. That's why that Mike is trying so hard to get you to notice him," I add on lightly not moving my eyes.

"What is it that I deserve Edward?"

I can hear the hurt in her voice, but what I hear more is annoyance and it surprises me. "What do you mean?"

"You seem to know exactly what it is that I deserve, so tell me exactly what that is."

"You—yo—" I sigh and look at her eyes, angry but questioning. "You deserve to have a man who will worship not only your body, but your mind. Who will see that you can be the cure to any disease that may ail them, physically and emotionally. Someone who can come home from work tonight smiling and relieved that they have the most wonderful specimen ever created by God to come home to. What you deserve Bella, is to have nothing short of the best."

"Then what are you?" she asks so quietly I have to guess at what she is saying.

"I—am damaged. I have my work and no room for anything else."

I see her face fall and lift her face up to meet my eyes giving her a sweet smile. "Besides perhaps a friend?" I say questioning whether she will still allow me in her life.

"Who would this friend be?" she asks me teasingly.

"Well, I need someone sweet, and genuine, and of course gorgeous because we can't be so mismatched that people will wonder why we are together."

"Would you be speaking about someone from your family?"

"You silly, silly girl. I am talking about you. I know that my behavior tonight was absolutely absurd and completely ungentlemanly. It shames me to think that I have disgraced my mother's good name and everything she has done to assure that I be brought up with the utmost manners."

Bella lets out a carefree laugh and I smile genuinely for the first time. "I think that your mother will believe you are more than making up for it right now."

"I truly hope that you are right," I say smiling.

"Edward, tell me about your life," She says suddenly after a length of comfortable silence.

"What do you want to know?"

"Anything, everything, whatever it is that you want to tell me. What about your parents? What are they like?"

I take a moment to collect my thoughts returning my gaze back out the window. It had been a long time since I had spoken of my real parents. The emotion still caused me to choke up and my words to come out all wrong.

"They were amazing people. They had a love that you could feel just by being in the same room as they were."

"Were?" she asks quietly trying not to interrupt.

"They died when I was young. I still had dreams of being a brave soldier. It was my G.I. Joe phase," I say smiling wistfully. "I was fourteen. Alice was ten. It was all rather sudden. One moment I'm complaining about watching my bratty little sister, and the next I'm—the police are at the door."

"Oh Edward I'm so sorry."

"They were brilliant people. My mother was a chef before she had met my father, she wound up teaching me. She was soft and refined, and always smelled of Sandalwood perfume. My father was the disciplinarian. He was hard, and often aloof, but I can remember the smiles and all the encouragement he used to give me. They were both two amazingly passionate people. I believe that is why Alice and I are the way that we are now. We took that away from our parents, to always do what we loved most, and to try our best to be happy to the best of our ability. We just, we show it in different ways."

"What happened after—after you lost your—"

I notice her voice breaking and the hesitation that she has mentioning my parent's death. I smile and turn my eyes to her, noticing the tears in her eyes.

"Carlisle came along. He was a very close friend of my parents. And with my parents having no immediate family left, he petitioned the courts to have custody of the both of us. I was so hurt, and I lashed out in every way possible but he—he never gave up. He waited with the patience of a saint. And he reminded me every step of the way of my mother's infinite love and patience; he said it was the only reason why he put up with me. That and that my parent's memory deserved a better tribute than what I was giving them."

"You sound very lucky."

"I was, and still am," I agree. "It wasn't long after he took them in, that he met Esme. They met and married quickly, but neither I nor Alice ever minded. They have the love that my parents used to have. And they made us feel like we had a home and a family again. After Esme had continuous miscarriages she took in her sisters children who didn't want to move out of state with their parents. We've been the Brady Bunch for the last twelve years."

"What about Emmet?"

I laugh and notice that her worried face has relaxed and she is showing a small smile now. "Emmet just sort of fell into our lap. He's a distant cousin of the family, but one that we've grown up around during summer vacations and family reunion trips. He heard that there was good hiking around our area and wanted to come up and see firsthand. He took one look at Rosalie, tripped over the rug, and never left after that."

"Do you remember very much about them? Your parents I mean. Do you have memories that stand out?"

"I have a few, but mostly it's just remembering the feelings that I felt around them, or the smells," I admit sadly. "I remember coming home from school to freshly made snacks, and I loved to have apples when I was younger. As I got older, my mother would take me into the kitchen with her and show me little "tricks of the trade" she used to call it. That time really stuck with me. My father insisted I take piano lessons. It was a tradition in his family or something. But what I remember the most is my early teenage angst. I began to look myself in my room, and argue with my father over nothing. That is when my mother kept reinforcing all of her teachings on how to be a gentleman."

"So every time that you talk of being a gentleman or doing the right thing—"

"I do it to show some respect to her. That and Esme will murder me if I mistreat any woman that I choose to date. She has taken to being another mother to me, to all of us really. She is sweet and lovely, but you never want to get on her bad side. She can be quite scary."

Bella laughs, a loud laugh that seems to help relieve all of the tension and painful feelings that have been brought up by talking of my parents.

"Why are you still single? You've talked about dating, but you haven't said why they haven't worked out."

"You certainly are inquisitive tonight Bella," I say chuckling. "How about we turn the attention back onto you? I've answered enough questions for tonight."

"Ok, what do you want to know? I'm not very interesting."

"Well, you've told me about your mother, but not about your father. What is he like?"

"Well, my parents divorced when I was still a baby. My mother took me to Phoenix with her, so I didn't see him very often. When I got into my junior year, I moved in with him to spend some time with him. He deserved to have a relationship with me too. He's a lot like me, or should I say I'm a lot like him. He's quiet and keeps to himself. He'd rather be out fishing than anywhere else. But he's very loyal, and even though he doesn't show it, he loves to the very core of him. It took him nearly twenty years to move on from my mother, I guess that's the best way I can describe him. He's stubborn and set in his ways. He's also completely hopeless in the kitchen and can't cook a thing for himself."

"So, both your mother and father were terrible cooks?" I ask laughingly. "No wonder you are a good cook."

"Yeah, years of practice will do that to you."

"What was it like living with him?"

"Great, and awful. I loved having that time with him, it meant a lot to both of us, but I hated Forks. In a town that small it's hard to not be the center of attention when you show up to live with your father, the chief of police."

I smile and shake my head. Of course a person like Bella would feel strange with a few people anticipating her arrival. And with how attractive she is, the boys were probably lining up to get their chances with her.

"Do you still visit him?"

"I do the best I can. It used to be easier when my mother was here to help run things, but now it's a bit more difficult. But I usually go over about twice a month since my mother left."

"What about school? Where did you go to college?"

"I started college back in Phoenix, focusing on literature. I stopped when my mother wanted to move back here. I was only a few semesters from graduating."

"Why not go back now? Why stop?" I knew that I was pushing personal boundaries. She had made her choices, and by the sudden change of tone in her voice, it was still something that she was coming to terms with. But I couldn't bring myself to care. I needed to humanize her some more. Make myself understand that as much as I may want to have her to myself she deserved so much better than me.

"I planned on going back. After I helped my mother set up shop and get business going. I just never got around to it. We started getting more business, she needed the help, and I couldn't leave her like that. After a while I stopped thinking about it. I like doing this. It's not what I had planned for myself, but I do enjoy it here most of the time. My mother needed to have her time with Phil, and I needed to be here."

"Do you want to go back?" I ask her.

"Eventually, once I figure out what I really want out of life," she says smiling in my direction.

"Bella, you do understand that I am not staying away from you because I don't feel some sort of attraction to you. I just want you to have the best, and if I hurt you—if I did anything to make you cry I—I don't think I could live with myself," I tell her honestly watching her expression as my words set in.

"Please, Edward it's nothing really. It's only been a day and a half. No one can say that they feel something for a person in that short a time."

"No, I guess you are right on that. But what I do know is that I feel just a little bit happier with you around."

"Edward, will you tell me about the women? Why none of them stayed with you?"

I roll my eyes and groan. If Bella's father is stubborn and set in his ways, then she truly is like him. I had hoped that the change in topic would deter her, but as usual she surprises me. As I turn to look at her and give her an answer I see that she is stifling a yawn, and for the first time notice the faint circles that are forming under her eyes.

"Another time Bella, but not tonight."

"What? Why not?"

"It is getting very late, and you are very tired. That story will last longer than you will." I hold up my hand before she can protest and begin clearing up the containers from the cake. "You have been working hard all day, and I have undoubtedly kept you up longer than necessary with our conversation. You need your sleep."

"Will you still be here when I wake up?"

"Of course, we are staying until Sunday night."

"No," she says, her exasperation with me now showing in her ever growing tired state. "Will you still be here? Will you still talk to me? I like this Edward better."

I chuckle and shake my head. "I like him better too, and yes I will still be here tomorrow. Goodnight Bella."

I watch her as she straightens out the few things that were disturbed by my visit before reluctantly closing the door. After the very raw conversation I had with her, I am left feeling exposed and very lonely. The thought of being alone is scary and daunting. I walk up the stairs to my families rooms.

"Alice, are you awake?"

"Of course, Edward," she says happily opening the door and smiling at me. "What's wrong?" she asks immediately seeing my face.

I give her a sad smile and shook my head. "Nothing is really wrong, I just," I sigh and look anywhere but at her small worried face. "I don't really feel like being alone right now."

"Whatever you need Edward, would you like to sit up with me for a bit longer? I can show you my latest ideas for my clothing line."

I smile at her and nod my head slightly. "That sounds better than anything else I have planned for myself." I laugh quietly as she bounces back into the room and grabs her sketch book following me back down to my room.


	6. Chapter 6

I have to still be dreaming. Dark emerald eyes had haunted me all night long. Being close enough to touch him, then suddenly pulling away. So it would make sense that I would still be dreaming of Edward as the light does its best to break through the clouds and share its early morning warmth. But even still something feels off. The soft masculine scent that is so irresistible to me is burning in my nostrils. I can smell him all around me and that shouldn't be. He left my bedroom hours ago. Surely his scent would have worn off long ago. Though the oddities are intriguing I like this small fantasy. One where Edward is still nearby; even though there is nothing more between us than an odd budding friendship.

After being alone for so long it is nice to feel someone next to you. The person being fictious is a testament to the severe dry spell I have put myself through.

I snuggle deeper under my covers knowing I have a bit more time before I need to get up. Hugging the pillow tighter next to me I realize why I smell Edward everywhere. The pillow he was leaning on last night somehow made its way into my arms. I smile and inhale deeply before I climb out of bed. If I move fast enough I can have a cup of coffee to myself. And the idea of alone time is more appealing than the extra time in bed with fantasy Edward.

I pull a thick sweater on and my slipper boots hoping not to trip and wake anyone as I make my way through the dimly lit hallway to the kitchen.

The quiet as I make a pot of coffee is soothing. Pretending to be comfortable with people is exhausting. Here in the silence I can just be who I am.

I go over a mental checklist of all that needs to be done and I know it will last me until sunset. But the beauty of the sunrise and the stillness of the woods keeps me from being overwhelmed. At least my work will keep me company on this lovers holiday.

I keep my mind purposely off of Edward and his curious behavior. I fell asleep with him on my mind and now I need a break. He is in desperate need of a friend but seems to fight the idea of anyone caring for him. Being around him is draining. And thinking about him is equally as taxing. Even though it has quickly become my minds favorite pass time.

Piercing green eyes cloud my vision until I hear the door open behind me.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to disturb you. I can go back inside if you'd like to be alone," a small voice says.

I turn to see Alice in the doorway looking tired but a small smile still on her face.

"No please join me. I was just enjoying the chance to wake up slowly for once. I didn't think anyone would be up this early."

"I never really went to bed. I fell asleep for a few hours but it wasn't very restful so I just gave up on trying to rest and figured fresh air would clear my mind."

"I know that feeling," I say turning to see Alice leaning on the railing looking tired and worried. "Are you ok? I don't mean to pry, you just seem sort of down."

"I just can't understand it. I keep trying to figure it out but he's just being so stubborn."

"Umm... ok. What is he being stubborn about?"

"Has he talked to you about anything?"

The look on my face must give away my confusion because she speaks as if she finally realizes I haven't been following her train of thought.

"Edward, I mean. Has he talked to you about his past or anything?"

"Not really. He talked about your parents for a little and then went to his room."

"Our parents," her smile grows bigger as she sighs as if a heavy weight had been lifted off of her. "Yes, that is much better."

"I dont really understand," I confess as she turns her big eyes on me.

"I promised Edward I wouldn't say anything. So stubborn just like our father. Just be careful with him, please?"

I nod too dumbfounded by her strange behavior to speak.

"Well, I am going back inside. Jasper will be up soon, and there is so much to do before tonight. I will see you soon Bella," her voice chipper and eager as if she hadn't dragged herself out here earlier.

"Sure, see you soon Alice."

The end of the sunrise signals me to start my day and leave Alice's strange words alone. There is too much work to be done to ponder over small things. Especially when the Cullens will be gone and out of my life in two days time.

I wave to Mike as he steps out of his car and smiles at me.

"Hey, you are never out here this early. Is everything ok?"

"Yes of course, just enjoying some quiet time. Its a nice morning out today."

"Yeah, sun's shining and everything."

I turn to him and see a faraway look in his eyes. I could have been crying and his attention would have waivered. He is a nice guy, but his attention only ever seemed to be on all the daydreaming he did on a normal basis. It was almost the same look a puppy got in its eyes when they got bored doing the same sit command a thousand times for training.

"I thought some fresh air and sun would help me start the day off right. Especially since I have to finish balancing and zeroing out accounts. With Angela not here I have the front desk to cover while I do the administrative side of things as well." I know he isn't listening to me. But that doesn't bother me. I am feeling rather energized by the Sun and my good mood is only growing.

"Sounds like a lot. Maybe we could have lunch together so you won't get stressed out," he says in an offhanded manner. Nothing but the invitation to lunch matters to him.

"I can't and neither can you. We both have a lot of work to do today. Thanks for the offer though." I try to put on a small smile so he won't feel completely rejected. "We should head inside and get started. I don't want anyone working until midnight."

"I don't mind it, you're a pretty decent boss."

I give a tentative smile and stand up straightening out my clothes getting ready to head inside. He is giving me compliments and doing his best to flirt. I may not have much experience with men but I do know that much. Unlike with Edward though, I feel self-conscience, and I don't like the way he is looking at me.

The feeling of eyes watching me settles on me as I try to find a way to end the conversation with Mike. I can feel the intesity sitting on my back, as if I had done something wrong by talking to Mike, who is currently staring at my chest pretending he is looking at my face. I clear my throat and turn towards the window, but all I see is an empty front room.

"Work is calling, so just uh- head to the kitchen, and I will check on you in a little while." I do my best to shake the feeling I was being watched and start to head inside.

"Anything for the boss," he says winking. "And if there is anything special that you want me to whip up for you then let me know."

"As long as its in the realm of eggs or pancakes, you will be the first one I call on," I mutter and head inside before Mike can continue the conversation.

I hurry down the hallway to my room. The quiet start was nice, but now I have to hurry and begin work, or I will be pulling an all nighter. Not looking at what I am grabbing, I get some clothes and head to the bathroom. It is a big relief to know that Edward usually sleeps in late. I can take my time showering without worrying who I am disturbing. A separate bath for the master bedroom was one of the things we were going to install. Before my mother had taken half of the savings so that she could spend some time travelling with her newest boyfriend.

Without any worry over whether I would offend, or annoy any of my guests, I stood in the shower letting the hot water cascade over me. The last week had been tense and busy leaving me very little time to relax. The water eased the stress my muscles had been carrying around. And though I knew that work needed to be started, this could not be rushed.

I dress quickly hoping to get a bite to eat before the kitchen is full with guests. By then I will have to field more complaints, or compliments more than I will be able to eat.

The quiet that greets me out in the front room is encouraging to me. I may still have a small bit of time before I have to become a hostess, and manager.

"Hey Mike," I call out so that he can hear me in the back area of the kitchen. "Save a couple eggs for me." I turn the corner into the kitchen and see Alice and Jasper sitting at a table looking content just being in each other's company. "Oh, I'm so sorry for yelling out like that," I say in apology. "I didn't know that anyone was in here yet."

"Jasper and I like to get an early jump on the day."

"I would love to be a morning person. It would make my job so much easier," I say giving a smile. Something about Alice puts me at ease whenever I'm around her.

"Oh, so much more gets done when you wake up with the sun. The possibilities are absolutely endless," she says to me happily. "Don't you agree Jasper?"

"Yes darling, you do get a lot done during the day. And I am always happy to do what I can to please you."

I smile at them and stay quiet until the wistful feeling passes. I have never been a big believer in romance, or true love. Reading those things in books was one thing. To know that no matter what Elizabeth and Darcy will always get together, or that true love will never die out no matter how much time passes. But reality was never like that. At least not in my reality. People grow apart and they separate. What Alice and Jasper have, that is what I have always wanted. The type of love and relationship that makes accommodations for each other. Where you love each other for all the perfections and flaws.

"Again, I apologize for my actions; they weren't very professional. It's just easier to deal with Mike from a distance. He can't try to ask me out from a hundred yards away," I blurt out and immediately slap my hand over my mouth. "Did I say that out loud?" I ask sheepishly seeing Alice and Jasper trying to hold back their laughter.

"Oh Jas, I knew I liked her for a reason."

"I'm just going to uh—I'm going to get some breakfast, and try to avoid you for the rest of the day," I say walking away from them feeling the blush in my cheeks.

I do my best to ignore any of the things that Jasper and Alice are saying as I walk into the kitchen dreading what might be waiting for me.

"Mike, did you hear me before? Do you have a couple of eggs that you could set aside for me?"

"For you Bella, I can do anything. No one has ordered anything yet besides coffee, so I'm just doing some prep work. I can have your eggs ready for you in a couple of minutes."

"Thanks that sounds absolutely perfect."

"You can hang out around here while I make them if you would like?"

"No, I have a whole bunch of uh—paper work. Sometimes it sucks being the manager. I'll be back in ten, just leave them waiting for me."

"Oh, sure."

I feel a slight pang of guilt as I hear his disappointment. I feel lonely but I have no romantic feelings for him at all. I can barely stomach him as a friend with all of his flirting and overly sweet pickup lines that he is constantly throwing at me.

I make my way out of the kitchen and over to the front desk to grab my checklist for the day. Rooms need to be freshened up and guests need to be checked on. The one thing that my mother knew above all else was that when people came to a bed and breakfast they wanted contact with the owner. And she was always happy and excited to go around and find out how people where liking our place and what we could do to make them happier.

Before I realize it, my morning has gone by in a flurry of quick eating and small talk. Everyone here is happy and loving how romantic the woods can look in the moonlight. They love the break from the city and feeling isolated, like it's just them and their loved one. And I smile and tell them that I am here to do anything and everything I can to make their stay the best it can be.

I have fended off at least five of Mikes sneak attacks; and backed away when he's tried to tuck a stray piece of hair back into place. The thought of him touching me makes me nauseous. And by noon I am completely exhausted. I have not seen any of the Cullen's since I made myself look like a fool. But I know that I need to check on them and freshen up their rooms.

I start with Edward, hoping that I won't be waking him. I knock softly not wanting to truly disturb him if he is still sleeping. Alice was so pleased that he was sleeping that I know it's a big deal; at least to her. The banging that ensues tells me that even if he was awake he hasn't started moving around yet, and I immediately feel guilty.

"Dear God Alice, three phone calls before eleven are bad enough. Can't you just accept that I am not the bright morning person that you would like me to be?"

I stifle my laughter as I listen to him continue to rant about his sisters high energy level while he makes his way to the door. "Look I'm getting dressed is that good enough for y—" his voice immediately dies out as he sees that I am the one at the door. "You aren't Alice," he finishes sheepishly his shirt still dangling in his hand.

I know that I should be talking to him and asking him all the standard questions. All that I can focus on though is his pale skin. From running into him I knew that he was in shape. But what is standing in front of me is better than I could have imagined. His skin is stretched tight over every last defined muscle. He stands very still and it strikes me that it almost seems like marble. My eyes roam from his pecs down to the v that his abs form and how it's lightly peppered with that bronze colored hair that sits wildly on his head.

The lopsided grin that he is giving me sends my body into overdrive and I have to clear my throat several times before I can concentrate on anything else besides his body. And it is only when he's kind enough to put his shirt on that I start to form small sentences.

"Good morning Edward," I say quietly looking down at the floor. What would he think if he saw that I was blushing furiously while being completely floored by the amazing body that lay just beneath the clothes he was wearing?

"Good morning Bella," he says trying to keep his amusement to himself.

"I am so sorry for waking you. It's just—ya' know administrative stuff. I just came by to check on you and make sure that you're ok."

"I assure you I am most comfortable. And you didn't wake me. I've been up for a while."

"Oh really? I just didn't see you around anywhere. I thought that you would still be sleeping. Is there anything that I can get you?"

"No, I think I am fine for now. Did you need anything else?"

"Well, I, I mean, one of us, the people that work here, usually come in and change the sheets and freshen up the room." I blush even more knowing that I sound like a total fool right now.

"You, them, one of the people that work here may do what you need, if you can wait a while longer. I'm still in the process of getting started for the day, and I don't quite feel up to facing my sister today."

"I saw her earlier already, she seems pretty mellow."

"Trust me, dear Bella, Alice is never mellow. She simply stays still long enough that allows people to interact with her," Edward says laughingly.

"She did want to get a lot done today. She left me out on the porch so that she could get started."

"If you would please just pretend like I am still asleep I would be eternally grateful."

"I don't know I'm not a very good liar. I'm pretty sure that she would see right through me."

"I just don't want to face them yet. I love them all, but the thought that I am depressed because I am not with someone on Valentine's Day is just preposterous."

"I'll give you your time to get ready. And If Alice asks anything I will just tell her that you are still getting up." I wave my hand as I start to make my way down the hall.

"Bella," Edward's silky voice stops me halfway down the hallway. I turn around and see him walking toward me tense and almost angry looking.

"Is there something I can get you? Breakfast?""I was simply wondering if you were free at all tonight?" He shuffles his feet as his eyes dart back and forth between me and the floor. I don't want to stand in front of him confused and stunned; but my mind is completely blank, and I can't think of anything to say.

"Of course I understand if you are busy and have plans already. I was simply asking because Alice put together this elaborate dinner for tonight. And I love my family but I always feel like such an intruder on nights like this. You keep saying we could be friends,and I thought as friends maybe you could lend me some support."

"I would love help Edward, really I would but I can't."

"I understand. It was very inappropriate for me to ask. Are you going to be out with Mike tonight?"

My heart had fallen when I realized that he was only asking a friend for some help. I hadn't wanted to admit to myself how much I liked Edward Cullen. There was no denying it though when my heart began to race and dance at the thought of a date with him. No other man had made me feel like this no matter how long it had been since my last date. I always felt like an oddity; not being able to fall head over heels for a guy. All these years there was nothing wrong with me, I was simply waiting for him. So hearing his disappointment was a big relief. He wanted me around, no matter if he admitted it or not.

"Mike?" I ask laughing. I look at the scowl on his face and realize that he is totally serious. "I won't be out with anyone tonight, especially not Mike. I have a business to run. No help means I am trapped here at least until Angela gets back."

"So you and Mike aren't dating?"

"What? God, no. He is a nice guy but the thought of dating him is kinda nauseating. He's totally clueless and he needs someone just as clueless to make him happy. Why would you even ask?"

"It seems silly now." He stares at me for a long moment as I start to become impatient. Finally he lets out a long breath and begins to speak again. "I was walking to the kitchen to see if I could bother someone for a drink. I heard you in the shower and thought maybe you were there and would allow me a cup of wager before I fell back asleep. I saw you outside with, him, and you looked cozy together?" He asked seeming unsure if his wording was describing what he wanted to say.

"Mike is unrelenting. I was enjoying the sunrise when he showed up for work that's all. He always tries to get more than I am willing to give, but trust me; I have no interest in Mike, nor will I ever. He works for me so I try to be civil and polite. I see now that I need to be a bit more firm."

"I assumed things where I had no right to Bella, and I apologize deeply for that. I told you I am not used to reading peoples body languages. I am not used to being friends with anyone outside of my own family."

"It's fine Edward. I'm not offended or anything like that. I just need to draw a clear line between Mike and I before I kill him with my bare hands." I am seething deep down knowing that he almost ruined a chance to make something happen between me and Edward.

"If you do murder please wait until I leave. I would hate to have to testify against you," he said chuckling.

"I'll work on it," I mutter. "I need to finish my rounds. I'll be back later to do your room-- I mean clean it."

"I look forward to seeing you again."

I fight to keep myself from looking back and staring at him until I leave his sight. My heart is beating so loudly I feel as if everyone in the inn can hear it. Edward wanted me to be with him on Valentine's Day. Edward. Wanted. Me.

The thought alone kept my mind occupied while I finished up my morning chores. Nothing made me uncomfortable, or fearful when he was on my mind. How could the thought of one person make someone feel so safe and protected? I knew next to nothing about Edward Cullen, but it didn't matter. My heart had already decided to fall for Him, and I will oblige it willingly.

"Hey Bella, I'm out of here for the night," Mike called to me as he made his way to the front desk.

"Is it that time already?" I ask incredulous that an entire day could have passed already.

"It's actually passed. Its eight thirty the clean up took forever. We don't usually have this many guests."

"Well that's Valentine's day for you," I answer offhand. I had made it through my work day with Edward on my mind. Talking to Mike only made me miss Edward's smooth voice, and the deep shade of emerald his eyes become when he worries."Thanks for working late Mike. I really don't think that I can handle another late night. This is the last time I give Ang the weekend off with no backup."

"I can stay later if you need me. I told Jessica I would have a drink with her tonight, but I can always cancel."

"No, Mike, please don't do that. Jessica just started here and I don't need her holding some sort of resentment towards me already."

"What do you mean?" He asks me like he's completely clueless as to the level of Jessica's infatuation with him.

"Seriously Mike? She likes you, she _really _likes you," I say whispering the last part as if it were some secret rather than a widely known fact. It seems to get the point across to him more effectively that way.

"Oh, uh--- well I guess—huh."

"I'll see you on Monday Mike," I tell him, knowing that he has off on Sunday. And I am rather grateful for the break from him.

"Yeah, see ya then Bella."

I let out a breath of relief as I watch him walk out the door. I feel like collapsing at the desk, instead settling for putting my head down for a moment. I love my mother and would do the responsibility.

As I lie there I hear the faint sounds of a piano and wonder who is down there. I haven't seen any of the Cullen's come back in, and as far as I know Edward is the only one here that knows about the piano.

I head to the stairs and listen quietly. The tune sounds slightly familiar, and I am surprised that it isn't some sort of classical piece, but a song that is being played. I do my best to silence my footsteps on the carpeted stairs and see Edwards figure sitting at the piano seeming lost in thought. I stand quietly at the entrance to the room for a few moments until I hear his voice begin singing. The sound sends shockwaves through my body. Where his normal tone sounded muted velvet, this seemed so much smoother than anything I have ever heard before. It is a beautiful deep tone that makes me think of all those tenors out there that make their living singing and making women swoon with the majesty of their voices. He is singing softly to himself, but I can hear the words.

*"_I've been alone with you inside my mind _

_And in my dreams I've kissed your lips a thousand times _

_I sometimes see you pass outside my door _

_Hello, is it me your looking for?"_

I sit beside him on the bench and join him in singing when he makes no move to acknowledge that I am there. My voice is nothing like his but I feel like the song describes everything about me and him.

"_I can see it in your eyes _

_I can see it in your smile _

_You're all I've ever wanted and my arms are open wide _

_'Cause you know just what to say _

_And you know just what to say _

_And I want to tell you so much, I love you_

I stop singing and let him begin the next verse needing to hear his voice again.

"_I long to see the sunlight in your hair"_ He stops singing and for the first time looks at me and with a slight nod of his head I know what he wants from me. So I close my eyes and let myself just sing not worrying about how I sound.

"_And tell you time and time again how much I care" _I don't stop singing when he joins back in but I can feel us begin to understand where the other wants to take the song and we sing together as if we've been doing it all our lives.

"_Sometimes I feel my heart will overflow _

_Hello I've just got to let you know _

_'Cause I wonder where you are _

_And I wonder what you do _

_Are you somewhere feeling lonely, or is someone loving you? _

_Tell me how to win to your heart _

_For I haven't got a clue _

_But let me start by saying, I love you_

_Hello is it me you're looking for? _

_'Cause I wonder where you are _

_And I wonder what you do _

_Are you somewhere feeling lonely or is someone loving you? _

_Tell me how to win your heart _

_For I haven't got a clue But let me start by saying I love you."_

His fingers still against the piano keys and we stay in silence for a few moments, as I fight off the urge to press myself against him and kiss him whether he wants it or not. His breathing seems heavier than it should be for singing, and he licks his lips before I decide to speak.

"I didn't mean to intrude, or ruin your song. You have a beautiful voice, I know I ruined that when I jumped in. It was just kind of impulsive," I know that I am rambling but in his silence I can't seem to stop. His stare is so intense and I need him to either speak or break eye contact.

And as if he read my mind he breaks into the lopsided grin that steals my breath and stands up extending his hand to me. "Take a walk with me Bella."

It is more of a demand than anything else, but I already know that I can never deny him anything. So I stand and put my hand in his, hoping that I am not misplacing my trust.

* * *

*lyrics to "Hello" by Lionel Richie. Sung like the duet from Glee (heard it and it fit perfectly to what I wanted to happen between these two crazy kids.)

Hope you enjoyed-- leave the love :)


	7. Chapter 7

On

Bella is simply an amazing creature. But whether she was sent from Heaven or Hell, I still have not fully decided. I have long felt that my soul was damned. I am a selfish, egocentric person. I have lived my life as it were, all about myself. When I was frustrated and creatively blocked I turned on my family. I hurled unnecessary insults at Alice when all she wanted to do was help. I made her feel as if her help was the last thing I wanted; when it truth it was the only thing that kept my sane. How could anyone believe themselves bound for heaven when they lived as I had? Women had walked away from me heartbroken when I had felt next to nothing. Why would God send me such a magnificent creature?

As I stand up from the piano bench and ask her to talk a walk with me, I do my best to keep my legs from trembling and my voice from cracking. Being in the presence of Bella makes me feel like a seventeen year old boy. I had never been so unable to control my body around any woman before. But as I grab Bella's hand, I know instinctually that I will not be able to let go. Everything about her seems so small and fragile to me that all I can do is wrap my hand around her and let my thumb draw circles on her palm.

"Where are we going to go?" she finally asked as I led her out the back door and down the small path that I knew was there.

"There's a small spot up the way there that has a nice spot to sit. I thought that it might be a nice place to just talk."

"Just talk," she says almost to herself as if she's disappointed in the prospect.

"Hold on tight to me Bella, I would feel awful if you tripped and hurt yourself. I am making you come out here in the dark."

"Oh please, Edward, I think that I can walk in a straight line without—"

I try to hold back my laughter as her statement is instantly proved wrong as she stumbles over nothing but damp grass and thick moss.

"What was it that you were saying Bella?" I ask her kindly as I hold on to her a bit more firmly as she steadies herself.

"Stupid inner ear; can't even walk on a straight path. Good job Bella, have a gorgeous man right next to you and lure him in with your inherit clumsiness. Oh yeah that'll do the job just freaking great."

I allow myself to smile knowing that she isn't looking at me and is positive that I cannot hear her. I continue walking in silence letting her think that nothing was heard. I know that she would be mortified if I let on that I heard any of what was meant simply for her own ears. I do not know much about her but I know that she is easily embarrassed. She speaks to herself when agitated or annoyed about something. And almost always you can hear what she is saying because she is not as quiet as she believes herself to be.

"Here, let's sit," I take off my coat and lay it across a log for her to sit without getting dirty or damp.

"Edward, you'll freeze," she instantly protests. And I smile to myself knowing that I correctly anticipated her reaction.

"I told you Bella, I grew up in much colder climates, and this is not so bad to me. Plus, I have on a very heavy sweater. I will not freeze. I doubt that I will even begin to get cold until much later. Please sit, I would very much like to talk with you." Everything around us is quiet and dark. The only light is from the moon that is bright, but barely able to break through the heavy tree covering of the forest. I can just make out the shape of her nodding head and watch as she sits on the log.

Knowing that she cannot see my face and tell how anxious I am makes me a bit more comfortable. She seems to read me easily enough, no matter how hard I try to make my mask of indifference that much more airtight. There is always a crack that she is finding. And right now I'm tired of trying to keep it in place.

"Why did you come downstairs before?" I ask, wanting to know if it was I that drew her near, or just the song.

"I heard playing and I went to check it out. I was hoping that it was you, but I wasn't sure. It wasn't some kind of classical piece so-," she lets the sentence drag out like there is something that she just isn't comfortable saying. "Anyway, I saw you, and heard your voice and I was just—in awe."

"Awe?" I ask in genuine surprise. Why would she ever be in awe of me? I had nearly slammed my hands down on the piano and taken her right then when she opened her mouth to start singing. How could she not understand just how incredibly talented she was? She was artistic and compassionate, and beyond anything that I ever could be.

"Of course! It's not really fair you know, you being so beautiful and then being so talented at everything. You're dazzling, and I don't know anyone that can fight it off."

"I'm dazzling? Do I dazzle you Bella?"

"Frequently," she admits quietly as she turns her head to the side. It seems to be an automatic reaction to her blushing.

"I don't know how to stay away from you Bella," I tell her quietly after a long silence. "I desperately want to. I don't know how to be in a relationship, or even maintain a friendship. But for the life of me I can't stop thinking of you. If I slept I swear you would invade my dreams. Please tell me what I am supposed to do, because I am so impossibly lost."

"You stop fighting it Edward. We just, let ourselves talk to each other. I think that's the most that we can hope for. I'm not worried."

"How can you not be worried? You worry about everything but not this?" I ask incredulous.

"I feel safer when I'm with you Edward. I don't know anything else and I don't need to know anything else. I like how I feel when you're around. I can deal with anything else that comes along."

I grab her hand in desperation needing to feel her next to me. It all feels too surreal. How can this be anything other than a dream? I have waited for years to have a woman look at me and tell me that I am what she wants and that's all that matters. I have waited long enough to feel like I was good enough for someone to want. I have never felt like I was deserving of someone to need. My compulsive need to have everything in straight lines and organized just right. The knowledge that no one could understand or deal with my system of putting things away and straightening up. It all made me believe that I was too wrapped up in myself to every feel towards another person.

"I have waited a lifetime to hear someone say things like that to me Bella, but I am so very undeserving of it. Someone like you should not feel anything towards someone like me."

"And what do you mean by someone like you?"

"I am a monster Bella. I am selfish and a workaholic. And I absolutely guarantee that I take more than I give in any situation."

I watch as her head falls a bit and she stays silent. _Yes Bella, realize just how bad I am for you. Leave me here with my pain as all the others have. _I keep silent and prepare for her goodbye speech. Telling myself over and over that there is no need to feel so lonely, and that it is all for the best.

It is no use trying to convince the pounding ache in my chest though. My heart is beating uncontrollably and I am fighting back the tears from my eyes. I do not want to be alone anymore. I want this gaping hole in my heart to go away. I like how relaxed I feel with Bella, and I do not want that feeling to ever end.

"What was your last relationship like Edward?"

"My what?" I ask. I am so stunned by her sudden question that I cannot think of anything past two word responses.

"Your last relationship. What was it like? I know that you said you had some problems and most of the women you dated were not very understanding of your lifestyle. What was the last one like?"

"Her name was Lauren. She was pretty and made me believe that she had nothing but the best intentions toward me. It was great at first. I was actually getting out of the house to take her on dates. She loved the feeling of being wined and dined by a wealthier man. I make quite a good living doing tours and selling my pieces; she liked the glamour. Taking her to charity balls and concert events where right up her alley. I could do nothing wrong as long as I bought her a new gown every week for a big event. She spoke to me softly and sweetly and told me just the things that I wanted to hear. She used to tell me all the time that I was the best thing that ever happened to her. I wanted to believe her so badly that I ignored everything else."

"Like what?"

"I wasn't composing when I was with her. I would sit at my piano and feel nothing. After a while she would call me and ask me to do something with her. I wanted to be happy so I didn't ask any questions. But looking back now, I know that what we had was never truly happy or healthy. When I started taking time away from her to get back to my work is when things starting going very wrong. It was when I started to realize that I did not feel for Lauren like she for me. She wanted me to give up everything that I was. She didn't want me to work until three in the morning and sleep until noon. She wanted the 'normal boyfriend' as she put it. One that would be available to her at predictable hours. And when the social season ended, she became even more belligerent. She was envisioning vacations and romantics days spent hidden away. When I began trying to compose harder than ever, she would stay over frequently just to start fights that would last all night long. It did not happen very often. One night I told her that my music would always be more important than she was. That was the night that she threw a shoe at my head. It was actually a stiletto, and it hurt quite a bit," I finish chuckling to myself. "I just knew right then and there as she was sobbing that I wasn't made to be loved. I only hurt people when I let them care about me. I don't know how to reciprocate."

"Wow, and I thought that I was messed up, barely believing that true love existed."

"I'm sorry?"

"Edward, I am a product of a broken home. I have never seen a functional relationship and I don't really know if there is real love out there. Maybe we're all just settling for what seems like good enough. What I do know is that all of us at one point in our lives deserve to feel loved for who we are."

"Have you always believed things like this Bella?"

"No, I just came to think that very recently. You are definitely worth loving Edward. And I know that once you believe that yourself you will make someone indescribably happy."

I sit quietly rubbing Bella's hands with my thumbs. The small connection between the two of us feels heavenly. It has been too long since I was able to simply sit with someone and not have to explain why I wanted to compose instead of going to a movie, or why I could not spend all day on a picnic when I had an extra last minute rehearsal. Bella was not judging me; she was not even telling me that she wanted a relationship with me. All that she wanted to do was to let me know that I was worth something.

"Have you always been this sweet and optimistic?" I ask her letting some of my feelings of

"Absolutely not," she says laughing. "It was you that changed me. Something about you just being here, I started thinking that maybe all of my previous notions about love, and romance might just be wrong. I kinda felt, I don't know, deserving I guess. If we feel something for each other than there has to be something good in both of us."

"Or we're both horrible people that are damaged beyond repair."

"Or that," she agrees laughingly. "But I know that I personally am not a horrible person. I may not be the best judge of character but you aren't horrible either Edward."

I squeeze her hand gently and notice that her hands feel icy cold. "I am so sorry Bella, I brought you out here and now you're freezing. What you must think of me. Let's get you back inside."

"No," she says quickly, almost in a pleading tone. "Please, I like it out here. I don't want—this to end."

I try and watch her face closely to see if I can understand the emotions that I know are playing on her face. The only thing that I get though is confused. She seems to think that whatever is happening between the two of us will end once we go back inside.

"Bella you're freezing. I could not possibly allow you to sit out here any longer while I am jeopardizing your health."

"Oh Edward," she says practically snorting at me. "I appreciate the sentiment but I will be fine. Stop worrying about me or my health so much."

I chuckle and shake my head. Perhaps I am being slightly over protective, but my feelings for her are growing in leaps and bound. The thought that she might even get a cold from me is something that terrifies me.

"Alright Bella, I will put away my usual controlling nature. But only for five more minutes and then we are headed back inside whether you like it or not."

"Edward, why did you pick that song to play?" she asks quietly as if she is terrified of hearing the answer. "You say that you are mostly into classical music, so why that song?"

"It was what I was feeling," I tell her honestly squeezing her hand once more. "I like you Bella, a lot more than what my brain is rationally telling me I should. I feel like I should know what to do in this situation but I don't. It was the song that came to mind to express what I was thinking tonight."

"I really like that song. It's soft and understated and full of emotion. It was perfect—for us—for tonight."

"Do you—I mean could you—is it possible for you to have feelings for me?" I ask quietly terrified of what the answer might be.

"Yes," she answers just as quietly. "I know what you think Edward. I know that you think that you're bad and not capable of holding down a relationship, but I like you. And before you leave tomorrow I just wanted you to know that.

"I wonder Bella. Would it be too forward of me to kiss you?" I ask studying her face as she starts to smile and shake her head. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked. I understand if you want to say no. I won't be offended," I tell her trying to keep myself from showing just how hurt I truly was.

"Only someone like you would ask to kiss someone and then think it was even feasible to turn you down." I stare hard at her wishing there it was lighter so I can see her expression fully. "Edward, you are just too beautiful to ever turn down," she said to me interpreting my silence as confusion.

I frown a bit at hearing her call me beautiful. I am a man. What man in their right mind wants to be called beautiful? But coming from her it isn't that offensive. She could call me anything that she wants as long as I am allowed to have her with me always.

I cup her face holding her still. I'm thoroughly terrified of what I will do to her if I do not try to keep some sort of restraint. For two days she has been haunting my every move. Now that I have her right in front of me my senses are overloaded. She is surrounding me. She is the only thing that I see and feel. And for one brief moment I feel a sudden primal instinct that feels like I want to devour her. It is telling me that no matter how hard I try it simply will not be enough. I feel the need to just take all of her for myself.

"Hold still," I whisper to her; because I am honestly afraid of what I might do to her.

She sighs into my mouth as I finally touch her lips. The soft sound that she makes as she molds into me snaps my hold on whatever it is in me that I am trying to refrain from letting out. Her hands wind into my hair tugging at it as I crush her to me the hardest I can. I do not worry about hurting her though. She is moaning and working my lips like she will never have another kiss in her life. Though I cannot fully understand her desperation I do feel some of the same way. She is so soft, so pliable that I never want to let her go.

I have to go back home tomorrow and I will not have this there with me. I will not have her smile, or that shy blush that is always over taking her. Mostly, I will not have her lips to distract me from my horrid thoughts when I need it the most. She will not be there to calm me with her quiet romantic thoughts. She will not save me from Alice when I want quiet and Alice wants chaos. Two days with Bella, and I already want a future. I want a wife, and kids, and family vacations on tropical islands where the kids swim in the surf and play in the sand.

I break away trying not to gasp both from lack of air and the pictures that are flashing in my mind. I can see it all now. The kids with their mother's soulful eyes and gorgeous chestnut hair. I can see myself wrapped around Bella every night. Watching her body change and expand with pregnancy. I can see a life for myself that I had never envisioned before.

"Edward," she whispers quietly with her hand pressed to her lips. She shivers and then lets out a small giggle.

"Come Bella, let's get you back inside before you start freezing. You are already shivering. I don't want you out here any longer."

"No Edward really I'm fine."

"Bella, I said five more minutes and that kiss took up at least three. We're done sitting outside. I won't have you shivering anymore."

"I wasn't shivering because of the cold. I was shivering because I—"

"Of course it's because of the cold," I say not letting her make excuses to stay outside any longer. "Let's go back," I say softly standing and pulling her up beside me.

"I'm surprised you don't just throw me over your shoulder and drag me back to your cave hut."

"Silly Bella, there are no caves nearby," I say chuckling and pulling her into my side.

"I'm sure Emmet can find one. He seems like he's half bear anyway," she mutters trying to be annoyed. Instead she sighs and leans against pressing her head into my chest letting me lead the way without any more complaint.

"I'll let Emmet know that you see him as a bear," I tell her when we approach the front of the house.

"What? No, that's a totally embarrassing thought!"

"For him it isn't he'll see it as quite the compliment actually," I tell her leading her to her room without letting go. "He has a large affection for bears, and if park ranger paid enough to appease Rosalie and the way she likes to be spoiled I am sure that he would it in an instant."

"So what does he do instead? I know that you're a musician, but that's about it. You've never really talked about the rest of your siblings."

I smile and sit on the bench by the window like I did the other night. "Well, Alice is a fashion designer. Right now she's working on launching her own line. Jasper is now a historian. He gives lectures mostly about the wars and military strategy and how it's changed over time. Rosalie is actually believe it or not, a mechanic. She restores vintage cars for a whole lot of money. And Emmet is working his way to the top of a very large medical corporation. He may not like look the suit type, but he quite enjoys his work and bossing lots of people around."

"What about your parents—I mean—not your actual parents just—"

"Carlisle and Esme?" I smile at her to let her know I am not offended in any way. "Carlisle runs his own practice. It's quite successful and took a long time to build. And Esme is an architect and interior designer. She spends half her time walking around job sights with hard hats yelling at the contractors to follow the blueprints correctly and the other half in show rooms picking out tasseled pillows and carpeting."

Bella's soft laugh fills the room and I find it the most appealing sound in the whole world. "That is quite a family. Who would ever think that Rosalie worked on cars with the way that she looks and that Jasper could be with someone like Alice. I mean it all seems to work, it's just unexpected." She lays on her bed and pats the spot next to her.

Once again I feel like my legs are made of wet noodles as I try to walk over there without falling over. "Are you sure?" I ask her quietly. She nods shyly biting her lip and lowering her eyes. I lie down next to her letting my hand entangle in all of her hair.

"Tell me something about you," she says barely above a whisper.

"I've told you everything I could about me," I say laughing. "At least all the interesting stuff."

"No, like when is your birthday, what's your favorite food, your favorite color. What happens when you are trying to compose? Do you lose track of time? Is there a certain way you like things when you're in the groove?"

"Whoa Bella," I say laughing. I haven't felt this carefree I a long time. Laughter will not stop bubbling up in my chest. "I would be more than happy to answer any questions you have but you need to tell them to me one at a time. I cannot possibly answer anything while you are rambling on."

"Of course, you're right. So where do you wanna start?"

I smile and shake my head. She is going to be the death of me. "I was born June Twentieth; I will be thirty when it comes around. I do not have a favorite color, but the key of c is my favorite to compose in. It's one of the most widely used, but it's also extremely diverse and some beautiful pieces of music come out of it. When I compose I tend to get very introverted and not speak to anyone very much. I love my family, but not being able to finish a movement makes me agitated and I do not want to talk to anyone and take it out on them. Yes I do lose track of time. I write thinking its Monday and then I finish and realize that it is a Wednesday three weeks later. The only thing that I like when I compose is quiet. It helps me to hear the notes a bit better as they come out. Is there anything else that you want to know?"

"Tons and tons more. Do you want to compose for the rest of your life? Do you want a family or any of that?"

"I didn't really think about it very much. I was more or less resigned to the idea that I was simply socially awkward and burying a lot of pain in my music. I was fine with it for a long time. I had my family and Alice always made sure that I had at least that much. But I do want those things. I want to have a wife and children to run around the house after. Life suddenly seems lonely now," I tell her trying to keep some of the weight out of my voice. I clear my throat trying to think of some way to lighten the mood that had suddenly become heavy. "What about you?" I ask wanting to smack myself. How is that lightening the mood? "Have you wanted kids and a husband?" I ask praying that she won't notice how my voice cracked on that last word.

"No, it all kind of terrifies me. Not really the kid part. I'm not scared of commitment that large or anything. I just don't fully believe in marriage to begin with at all so I haven't really given to much thought other than I don't really want it. I mean, people can have long happy, healthy relationships without marriage. Why do you need to put extra pressure on both people in the relationship because they are trying to make it to some imaginary finish line?"

"I see," I say quietly trying to mask my disappointment. Whether or not she knows it, Bella is now my life. She is in every part of my future. Alice knew that I would never be able to turn away from this enigmatic woman. She was both parts beauty and intelligence. She was the perfect woman for me. To know that she does not want something that I believe in so avidly is hard to accept.

"Edward, will you stay with me tonight? You're leaving tomorrow and I want—well I don't want this to end."

"I know how you feel Bella. Of course I will stay. Let me go grab some clothes to sleep in. I don't want to wake up all wrinkly looking a complete mess."

I walk out as she gives me a look that says she doubts that I could ever truly look like a mess. I breathe in the fresh air that has none of the floral scent that is so definitely Bella. It makes me automatically feel cold inside. I miss the fire that happens in the pit of my stomach when I am around her. I like the uncomfortable amount of passion and desire that sits with me when I see her smile or laugh. I do not know how I will be when I go back to my life; but she has completely flipped my world upside down.

I change quickly wondering if I should leave my shirt behind. Her reaction to seeing me earlier in the day was amusing and an ego boost. Emmet is always dragging me to the gym, and knowing that it is attractive to Bella makes me feel like everything was all worth it. I hold my shirt in my hand for a few moments before throwing it over my head. She had trouble speaking to me without blushing the last time. I want a conversation with her, so I decide it would be better to be fully clothed.

Knocking at her door I close my eyes and imagine what her body looks like underneath her clothing. I have never done such a thing. No woman truly capturing my attention the way that she is. I smile knowing that whatever lies underneath her clothing is something truly spectacular and worth any sort of wait or discomfort that may come with it.

"Edward, are you daydreaming?"

Bella's soft giggle snaps me out of my thoughts and I do my best not to blush as I see her in her flannel pants and tight fitting tank top. She does not look like she is trying to impress me, but she does none the less.

"I'm sorry what were you saying?" I ask.

"I opened the door but you were just standing there with this goofy smile on your face. What were you thinking about?"

"You," I say honestly staring at her intently before I can stop myself. She blushes and I tighten my fists shoving them in the pockets of my sweat pants before I grab her and crush her to me once more. "Are you ready for some sleep?" I ask walking past her trying to collect myself.

I turn the blankets down and stand waiting for her watching her as she watches me. I smile at her and crook my head to tell her to climb into bed. She breaks out into a wide smile and she gets in sighing as she snuggles up to my body.

"Are you comfortable?" I ask. She nods and I drop a quick kiss on the top of her head. "Good. Thank you Bella."

"For what?"

"For the things that you said tonight. For letting me kiss you, and most certainly for letting me hold you like this."

"Are you happy?"

"More than you can possibly understand right now," I say honestly.

"Edward, tell me something. Something that no one knows about you."

"I still get anxious whenever I hear a knock on a door. Fresh lilies remind me of my mother's grave and always make me sad. I'm allergic to bee stings. And I would give the world to hear you laugh every second of every day."

Her silence as I stop talking makes me believe that she is either asleep or uncomfortable speaking. I run my fingers through her hair trying to keep myself from stressing out. I worry quietly until I feel her arms tighten around me and quickly kiss my chest. I smile to myself and start breathing again. Not realizing that I had stopped until I start sucking in large cleansing breathes again.

"Thank you Edward. For sharing all of that with me. This is the best Valentine's Day I have ever had."

"Well then let me give you your present," I say to her as I pull her up on top of me kissing her long and hard. I taste her tongue and cannot get enough of her taste. She is sweet, and innocent and perfectly feminine. I feel her then, all of her. How she squirms and writhes against me, trying to get away or get closer to me, I'm not entirely sure. Nothing has every felt so delicious to me. I stop myself from grinding into her and pull her away from me gently smiling and touching her swollen lips. "Happy Valentine's Day, Bella. Sleep well," I tell her tucking the blankets around us and pulling her back to me.


End file.
